The following has been making the rounds on the internet over the last day or so. I did not write it. I stole it. It was worth it. Enjoy...
BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II
US Ranked 4th
After determining the Big-12 championship game participants, the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests, and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.
"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."
Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories--Japan and Germany. The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."
German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said "Yes, we lost to the US; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."
The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."
Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.
Showing posts with label college football. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college football. Show all posts
Friday, December 05, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
Welcome To The Season
Election season is here. Football season is here. ZiggyBackRide's figurative head is ready to explode with excitement.
I thought Barack Obama's address at the Democratic National Convention in Denver was perfect. I believe, more and more each day, that he is the kind of leader he says he is and is willing to truly champion the kind of change about which he speaks. Granted, I was a supporter already and this may just be convention-related euphoria, but I'm trying to see through that.
He talks about things that I believe very firmly: going beyond policy to look at what kind of person each of us is and what kind of communities we can build together; putting party aside in favor of what can really help people, make America stronger, and make the world better.
It is his glorious commitment to loftiness for which I believe we should all be striving that I anticipate will make this election season so frustrating. I have already heard commentary from people who say he's thinking too big and that lofty is nice, but you have to get things done. I'm hearing these things from people who would be first in line to say how great America is. Why, then, would they want a candidate for President of this great country to shoot for anything other than lofty? If you reach for the stars, you may not reach them, but you won't end up with a handful of dirt either. Let's not be afraid to aim high!
John McCain selected Sarah Palin, this morning, as his running mate. I look at the two of them and my first impression says they will not win. I'm looking forward to finding out more about her, though, and hearing what they both have to say next week in the Twin Cities.
My congratulations to both candidates for classy moves early on, though. We might be in for a great campaign. I hope so! We'll see over the next few months.
With all the political goings-on, there has been less time for pre-football season preparations, but the season is upon us. The Texas Longhorns play their first game tomorrow night against an upstart Florida Atlantic team who won their conference last year and whose coach recently questioned the toughness of the Longhorns. Let's get it on.
Yesterday, I went on my first football season shopping trip of the year, procuring orange food and drink for gamedays and it's all set up in front of the tv, ready for the game...
Now, I know what you must be thinking and, deep down, I know you're right. The queso is really more yellowish than orange, but I feel confident that it has something to add to the effort! No, I know what you're REALLY thinking and don't worry, I didn't leave the carrot chips sitting in front of the tv. They're in the fridge. Okay, okay, I know what you're REALLY, REALLY thinking and I think it's going to be okay. Gatorade G2 can be just as effective in helping the Horns as Diet Rite Tangerine and Diet Sunkist have been in seasons past.
For some clarification on just what on earth I'm talking about, see these previous posts.
The Adventure Begins
My Stitions ARE Super!
I thought Barack Obama's address at the Democratic National Convention in Denver was perfect. I believe, more and more each day, that he is the kind of leader he says he is and is willing to truly champion the kind of change about which he speaks. Granted, I was a supporter already and this may just be convention-related euphoria, but I'm trying to see through that.
He talks about things that I believe very firmly: going beyond policy to look at what kind of person each of us is and what kind of communities we can build together; putting party aside in favor of what can really help people, make America stronger, and make the world better.
It is his glorious commitment to loftiness for which I believe we should all be striving that I anticipate will make this election season so frustrating. I have already heard commentary from people who say he's thinking too big and that lofty is nice, but you have to get things done. I'm hearing these things from people who would be first in line to say how great America is. Why, then, would they want a candidate for President of this great country to shoot for anything other than lofty? If you reach for the stars, you may not reach them, but you won't end up with a handful of dirt either. Let's not be afraid to aim high!
John McCain selected Sarah Palin, this morning, as his running mate. I look at the two of them and my first impression says they will not win. I'm looking forward to finding out more about her, though, and hearing what they both have to say next week in the Twin Cities.
My congratulations to both candidates for classy moves early on, though. We might be in for a great campaign. I hope so! We'll see over the next few months.
With all the political goings-on, there has been less time for pre-football season preparations, but the season is upon us. The Texas Longhorns play their first game tomorrow night against an upstart Florida Atlantic team who won their conference last year and whose coach recently questioned the toughness of the Longhorns. Let's get it on.
Yesterday, I went on my first football season shopping trip of the year, procuring orange food and drink for gamedays and it's all set up in front of the tv, ready for the game...
Now, I know what you must be thinking and, deep down, I know you're right. The queso is really more yellowish than orange, but I feel confident that it has something to add to the effort! No, I know what you're REALLY thinking and don't worry, I didn't leave the carrot chips sitting in front of the tv. They're in the fridge. Okay, okay, I know what you're REALLY, REALLY thinking and I think it's going to be okay. Gatorade G2 can be just as effective in helping the Horns as Diet Rite Tangerine and Diet Sunkist have been in seasons past.
For some clarification on just what on earth I'm talking about, see these previous posts.
The Adventure Begins
My Stitions ARE Super!
Thursday, December 27, 2007
The Journey Is The Thing
It started on September 1st of this year (see post from that day)and it ends tonight. As always, it has been glorious. I write, of course, about the football season for The University of Texas Longhorns.
This season has had its ups and downs as the team has experienced some growing pains. We* took losses against teams that we should have beaten (I'm talking about you, Kansas State, and you, too, A&M) and had some close calls against others. Of course, sometimes the close calls are where the magic happens. The comeback wins against Oklahoma State (again!) and Nebraska had me just as much on edge as any game in our national championship season two years ago.
In the end, only one team ** will win the national championship and the favorite team of almost every fan doesn't win it each year. But fans remain fans. We continue to care because every week there is a great story and a great battle. The worst teams have the chance to get a huge win. The best teams have the chance to march on toward history. There are berths in bowl games and slots in weekly polls to be earned. There's school pride. Recruiting battles. Rivalries. There are great comebacks, upsets (see this whole season), and unbelievable plays.
Today, I ate my last orange food of the 2007 college football season. As I write, I'm watching Texas play Arizona State in the Holiday Bowl, where both teams will end their seasons. The Horns won't be national champs this year, but it has been exciting and we seem to be on the way to yet another 10-win season and we will look forward to next year, when the journey begins anew. It will be a long eight months. Thank goodness for college basketball***.
* Some don't think anyone but coaches and players should use the pronoun "we" in reference to a sports team. I believe those people don't know what it means to be a real fan. Watching a game the way I do is hard work!
** If Hawaii should win the Sugar Bowl, it is possible that AP voters will choose to vote them national champions, creating a split title with the winner of the BCS Championship. There could be two champs.
*** My top 5 favorite sports to follow: 1) College Football; 2) College Basketball; 3) MLB; 4)NFL; 5)NBA (I still never did the list of favorite sports movies, but this is something, at least.)
This season has had its ups and downs as the team has experienced some growing pains. We* took losses against teams that we should have beaten (I'm talking about you, Kansas State, and you, too, A&M) and had some close calls against others. Of course, sometimes the close calls are where the magic happens. The comeback wins against Oklahoma State (again!) and Nebraska had me just as much on edge as any game in our national championship season two years ago.
In the end, only one team ** will win the national championship and the favorite team of almost every fan doesn't win it each year. But fans remain fans. We continue to care because every week there is a great story and a great battle. The worst teams have the chance to get a huge win. The best teams have the chance to march on toward history. There are berths in bowl games and slots in weekly polls to be earned. There's school pride. Recruiting battles. Rivalries. There are great comebacks, upsets (see this whole season), and unbelievable plays.
Today, I ate my last orange food of the 2007 college football season. As I write, I'm watching Texas play Arizona State in the Holiday Bowl, where both teams will end their seasons. The Horns won't be national champs this year, but it has been exciting and we seem to be on the way to yet another 10-win season and we will look forward to next year, when the journey begins anew. It will be a long eight months. Thank goodness for college basketball***.
* Some don't think anyone but coaches and players should use the pronoun "we" in reference to a sports team. I believe those people don't know what it means to be a real fan. Watching a game the way I do is hard work!
** If Hawaii should win the Sugar Bowl, it is possible that AP voters will choose to vote them national champions, creating a split title with the winner of the BCS Championship. There could be two champs.
*** My top 5 favorite sports to follow: 1) College Football; 2) College Basketball; 3) MLB; 4)NFL; 5)NBA (I still never did the list of favorite sports movies, but this is something, at least.)
Monday, December 03, 2007
And Now In Sports...
Welcome to ZiggyBackRide Sports, where you'll hear the ZBR take on major and exceedingly minor happenings in the world of sports. We turn first to Jewish men's league basketball, where Michael "Ziggy" Danziger is on two teams that are headed for the playoffs. Please note: every team makes the playoffs.
In the 30 and over league, my team is the number one seed in the tournament, looking to finish off the year with a championship. Playoffs began Sunday while my team enjoyed a bye week to prepare for our semi-final matchup next week. In the 18 and over league, my team ruined an unblemished record in our final regular season game by picking up our first win of the season. I've been on some very good teams and some very bad ones. This is a new low. Stay tuned for tourney progress.
And now, in college football: pairings for the BCS bowls were announced last night. Never has the case been more plainly stated for a college football playoff or, at least, a plus-one system. I have never really been in favor of a playoff for two main reasons. 1) It is hard to imagine college football being any more enjoyable than it already is. Sure, it's a wacky system, but it's still fantastic and the wackiness may, in fact, be part of the fun. 2) No system is perfect. Anyone who thinks a playoff won't cause controversy and will automatically crown the best team is kidding himself. (I'll concede here that, given two imperfect systems, it may be preferable for the matter to be settled on the field. Score one for the playoff.)
In college basketball, how about those Texas Longhorns? Having sent rookie of the year frontrunner, Kevin Durant, on to the NBA, the Horns are finding out just how much the rest of the team can do. Steadily climbing the rankings, they are undefeated with two wins over top 5 opponents. Maybe this is the year I get to see Texas and Memphis play for the national title. If only there were a BCS equivalent in basketball instead of that stupid tournament!*
And finally, speaking of tournaments, my comedy career has taken a turn for the odd. Or perhaps, I should say "odds." I will be emceeing Grand Casino - Tunica's Championship 100K Slot Tournament series beginning next Saturday. I have no idea how a slot tournament works or why anyone would want to be in one or how I will refrain from making fun of the event and its participants. I'll certainly keep you posted as this unfolds.
*I love the NCAA Basketball tournament. It is one of the greatest things in the world.
In the 30 and over league, my team is the number one seed in the tournament, looking to finish off the year with a championship. Playoffs began Sunday while my team enjoyed a bye week to prepare for our semi-final matchup next week. In the 18 and over league, my team ruined an unblemished record in our final regular season game by picking up our first win of the season. I've been on some very good teams and some very bad ones. This is a new low. Stay tuned for tourney progress.
And now, in college football: pairings for the BCS bowls were announced last night. Never has the case been more plainly stated for a college football playoff or, at least, a plus-one system. I have never really been in favor of a playoff for two main reasons. 1) It is hard to imagine college football being any more enjoyable than it already is. Sure, it's a wacky system, but it's still fantastic and the wackiness may, in fact, be part of the fun. 2) No system is perfect. Anyone who thinks a playoff won't cause controversy and will automatically crown the best team is kidding himself. (I'll concede here that, given two imperfect systems, it may be preferable for the matter to be settled on the field. Score one for the playoff.)
In college basketball, how about those Texas Longhorns? Having sent rookie of the year frontrunner, Kevin Durant, on to the NBA, the Horns are finding out just how much the rest of the team can do. Steadily climbing the rankings, they are undefeated with two wins over top 5 opponents. Maybe this is the year I get to see Texas and Memphis play for the national title. If only there were a BCS equivalent in basketball instead of that stupid tournament!*
And finally, speaking of tournaments, my comedy career has taken a turn for the odd. Or perhaps, I should say "odds." I will be emceeing Grand Casino - Tunica's Championship 100K Slot Tournament series beginning next Saturday. I have no idea how a slot tournament works or why anyone would want to be in one or how I will refrain from making fun of the event and its participants. I'll certainly keep you posted as this unfolds.
*I love the NCAA Basketball tournament. It is one of the greatest things in the world.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Football Makes You Think
I'm watching the FedEx Orange Bowl right now and the 2nd half just started. (Louisville leads Wake Forrest 10-3, at the moment.) During the halftime show, Taylor Hicks, your American Idol and mine, sang alongside the legendary Gladys Knight. I did not see any Pips, but that doesn't mean they weren't there.
I didn't love the performance, but I heard every word of it and I noticed the microphone that Taylor Hicks was holding. It made me think of the referee who, throughout the game, has to explain penalties, video reviews, and clock issues to the crowd and to officials in the pressbox. Earlier in the game, he was explaining a penalty and his mic went in and out and he couldn't really be understood. That is not uncommon at all. There are probably more games in which it happens than games in which it does not.
Why can't the official - who is making sure the game that everyone is there to see is played fairly and legally - use the same microphone that Taylor Hicks uses? Why on earth would there be two separate and completely unequal sound systems being employed at the same venue during the same event? The bowl game is the reason for the gathering. "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" is an excellent song, but has very little impact on the outcome of the contest. It would be helpful if I didn't have to count on the grapevine to hear what the ref is singing.
I didn't love the performance, but I heard every word of it and I noticed the microphone that Taylor Hicks was holding. It made me think of the referee who, throughout the game, has to explain penalties, video reviews, and clock issues to the crowd and to officials in the pressbox. Earlier in the game, he was explaining a penalty and his mic went in and out and he couldn't really be understood. That is not uncommon at all. There are probably more games in which it happens than games in which it does not.
Why can't the official - who is making sure the game that everyone is there to see is played fairly and legally - use the same microphone that Taylor Hicks uses? Why on earth would there be two separate and completely unequal sound systems being employed at the same venue during the same event? The bowl game is the reason for the gathering. "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" is an excellent song, but has very little impact on the outcome of the contest. It would be helpful if I didn't have to count on the grapevine to hear what the ref is singing.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
My Stitions ARE Super!
I have written many times about the various measures I take to ensure victory for the Texas Longhorn football team. I do it for other teams, too. During the 2000 playoffs, I began watching Yankees post-season games with a blue "victory" candle burning. That was such a success, I now have a burnt orange candle that often burns during Texas games (and gives off a delightful pumpkin pie scent!).
Faithful Ziggybackriders may find this hard to believe, but sometimes I question the effectiveness (but never the sanity) and necessity of these little traditions of mine. I wonder whether orange foods consumed by a Texas fan in Germantown, Tennessee really help the Horns. Sometimes I think, "maybe this is all a little bit silly."
Never again.
College football fans certainly know about yesterday's Texas-Nebraska game - a key win for Texas. What they don't know is that I (and also maybe Greg Davis, the UT offensive coordinator) almost ruined it.
When the game began, I was watching at home: Longhorn Band playing in iTunes, pumpkin pie candle blazing, football in hand, Diet Sunkist soda and Reduced Fat Cheez-its available close by. It was off to a good start. By halftime, the 'Horns were leading and appeared to be in control of things. A friend called and invited me over to watch the 2nd half and have lunch. I accepted. I extinguished the candle, put down the ball, grabbed some Diet Rite tangerine soda for the road (I didn't want to be overly confident), and left.
In the second half, Nebraska crept back into the game. It was getting dicey. I began to think, "maybe I should go back home. Maybe coming over here wasn't such a good idea." But then I thought the better of it, "Naaahh. We're going to be fine. I've done my job."
As the fourth quarter progressed, though, and as the cold Nebraska snow began to fall, the Cornhuskers took the lead, leaving the Texas empire with little time to strike back. Now I was really wishing I were back home, doing everything I could, but didn't want to miss any of the action. Texas failed to convert a first down and had to punt the ball away. Now Nebraska could try to run out the clock and put the game away. I had had enough.
I grabbed my belongings (cell phone, keys, one extra can of the tangerine stuff), ran out to my car, jumped in, and drove quickly (and maybe a little recklessly, but luckily wrecklessly) home. I rushed into my house, turned on the tv, lit the candle, picked up the football, and within 10 seconds, the Texas defense had caused a fumble and recovered it, giving the 'Horns another shot.
Freshman quarterback Colt McCoy promptly led the team down the field, into position for a field goal attempt, which was successful, giving Texas the victory. I almost blew it. Thankfully, I was able to get back to the fundamentals and do the things that have gotten us this far. My apologies to Longhorn faithful for the scare.
Faithful Ziggybackriders may find this hard to believe, but sometimes I question the effectiveness (but never the sanity) and necessity of these little traditions of mine. I wonder whether orange foods consumed by a Texas fan in Germantown, Tennessee really help the Horns. Sometimes I think, "maybe this is all a little bit silly."
Never again.
College football fans certainly know about yesterday's Texas-Nebraska game - a key win for Texas. What they don't know is that I (and also maybe Greg Davis, the UT offensive coordinator) almost ruined it.
When the game began, I was watching at home: Longhorn Band playing in iTunes, pumpkin pie candle blazing, football in hand, Diet Sunkist soda and Reduced Fat Cheez-its available close by. It was off to a good start. By halftime, the 'Horns were leading and appeared to be in control of things. A friend called and invited me over to watch the 2nd half and have lunch. I accepted. I extinguished the candle, put down the ball, grabbed some Diet Rite tangerine soda for the road (I didn't want to be overly confident), and left.
In the second half, Nebraska crept back into the game. It was getting dicey. I began to think, "maybe I should go back home. Maybe coming over here wasn't such a good idea." But then I thought the better of it, "Naaahh. We're going to be fine. I've done my job."
As the fourth quarter progressed, though, and as the cold Nebraska snow began to fall, the Cornhuskers took the lead, leaving the Texas empire with little time to strike back. Now I was really wishing I were back home, doing everything I could, but didn't want to miss any of the action. Texas failed to convert a first down and had to punt the ball away. Now Nebraska could try to run out the clock and put the game away. I had had enough.
I grabbed my belongings (cell phone, keys, one extra can of the tangerine stuff), ran out to my car, jumped in, and drove quickly (and maybe a little recklessly, but luckily wrecklessly) home. I rushed into my house, turned on the tv, lit the candle, picked up the football, and within 10 seconds, the Texas defense had caused a fumble and recovered it, giving the 'Horns another shot.
Freshman quarterback Colt McCoy promptly led the team down the field, into position for a field goal attempt, which was successful, giving Texas the victory. I almost blew it. Thankfully, I was able to get back to the fundamentals and do the things that have gotten us this far. My apologies to Longhorn faithful for the scare.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
If You Want A Little Zing In Your Zang Zang...
... watch TBS tonight at 7 eastern/6 central for the greatest television sandwich (pronounced sammich) ever.
All Times CST (because Eastern time is just no damn good for t.v.):
6:00 p.m. - College Football: Baylor at Texas
9:30 p.m. - "Tommy Boy" starring Chris Farley and David Spade
11:30 p.m. - College Football: Baylor at Texas (previously recorded)
2:45 a.m. - Interstitial Programming (I don't know what this is, but it's got to be good in this line-up!)
Hats off to the fine folks at the Turner family of networks for this brilliant piece of scheduling! Much, much better than the scheduling troubles I encountered last Saturday (see post).
The title of this post comes from the deep and meaningful lyrics of the College Gameday theme song, performed by your favorite artists and mine, Big and Rich with Cowboy Troy. How this song escaped Grammy-level recognition, I will never know.
All Times CST (because Eastern time is just no damn good for t.v.):
6:00 p.m. - College Football: Baylor at Texas
9:30 p.m. - "Tommy Boy" starring Chris Farley and David Spade
11:30 p.m. - College Football: Baylor at Texas (previously recorded)
2:45 a.m. - Interstitial Programming (I don't know what this is, but it's got to be good in this line-up!)
Hats off to the fine folks at the Turner family of networks for this brilliant piece of scheduling! Much, much better than the scheduling troubles I encountered last Saturday (see post).
The title of this post comes from the deep and meaningful lyrics of the College Gameday theme song, performed by your favorite artists and mine, Big and Rich with Cowboy Troy. How this song escaped Grammy-level recognition, I will never know.
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