Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year!

Just taking a moment to wish all ZiggyBackRiders (and everyone who hasn't yet caught on) a very happy and healthy 2008. The staff here at ZiggyBackRide hopes you will have a safe and successful year, and that you will visit often and encourage others to join us here in our special place for observation, entertainment, education (I realize I am throwing this term around rather loosely), thought, and fun.

I'm not big on new years resolutions*, but I'm a big fan of reflection and improvement. May this new year bring you closer to your greatest potentialities, and may you become more and more capable of - and successful at - building the world of your dreams.

I'm looking forward to sharing the next 366 days** with you!

*Whatever you wish were better in your life, it's not 2007's fault!
**It's a leap year. Get ready for a long, LONG February!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Election '08: ZiggyBackRide Decides

The campaign for the White House is for real now. It has, of course, been going on for what seems like decades already, but next week decisions actually start getting made. The Iowa caucus takes place just a couple days into 2008, followed closely by the New Hampshire primary.

During the next 10 months, the staff here at ZiggyBackRide expects to share many thoughts regarding the candidates and the campaign for the highest office in the land.

Early thoughts...

I like Hillary Clinton more than I thought I would so far. She seems experienced and capable and, amongst the Democratic frontrunners, presidential. I used to think that my only interest in her for President could be summed up in the following five words: First Lady William Jefferson Clinton.*

Barack Obama is, to date, Hillary's top challenger for the Democratic Party nomination. I think his lack of experience may hold him back, though. I've heard more than a few refer to Obama as being "too green." I just think it's great that, after generations of struggle and gradual progress, our society is finally so colorblind.

On the Republican side, Mitt Romney has emerged as a strong candidate. He made news a few weeks ago with his address regarding religion in American leadership and his beliefs as a Mormon. Critics' reviews of the speech were mixed, but I understand his wives loved it, saying they "can't wait to be the 1st through 4th ladies of the United States."

More in-depth coverage of Election '08: ZiggyBackRide Decides coming soon.

*It's tough being a genuinely concerned and interested American citizen AND a stand-up comic because the things the comic part of me wants to happen are usually not good for the citizen part. I'm hoping the citizen part can convince the comic part that it has had its turn these past seven years.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

The Agony And The Ecstasy

A:Yesterday, Southwest Airlines lost my luggage on my way to a wedding.
E:The bag was found and was just delivered to my hotel in time for me to be properly dressed and on time to tonight's ceremony (provided I compose this quickly!)

A:I shopped at Wal-Mart yesterday afternoon for a last-minute rehearsal dinner outfit.
E:I've never looked so good for $21.

A:I was on an unneccesary shopping trip at Wal-Mart, spending money I hadn't planned to spend, buying clothes I shouldn't have needed.
E:The Wal-Mart happened to be located in Austin, TX and happened to carry an extensive line of low-priced Texas Longhorns apparel.

A:Texas lost in basketball today, at the last second, to Wisconsin. It was a game the Horns should have/could have won.
E:I was there!

A:I have eaten migas* twice in less than 24 hours.
E:I have eaten migas* twice in lees than 24 hours.

*Migas are a tex-mex breakfast dish consisting of eggs, cheese, tortillas, onions, and tomatoes (depending on recipe). They are tasty. I'm not completely convinced they're good for you.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Journey Is The Thing

It started on September 1st of this year (see post from that day)and it ends tonight. As always, it has been glorious. I write, of course, about the football season for The University of Texas Longhorns.

This season has had its ups and downs as the team has experienced some growing pains. We* took losses against teams that we should have beaten (I'm talking about you, Kansas State, and you, too, A&M) and had some close calls against others. Of course, sometimes the close calls are where the magic happens. The comeback wins against Oklahoma State (again!) and Nebraska had me just as much on edge as any game in our national championship season two years ago.

In the end, only one team ** will win the national championship and the favorite team of almost every fan doesn't win it each year. But fans remain fans. We continue to care because every week there is a great story and a great battle. The worst teams have the chance to get a huge win. The best teams have the chance to march on toward history. There are berths in bowl games and slots in weekly polls to be earned. There's school pride. Recruiting battles. Rivalries. There are great comebacks, upsets (see this whole season), and unbelievable plays.

Today, I ate my last orange food of the 2007 college football season. As I write, I'm watching Texas play Arizona State in the Holiday Bowl, where both teams will end their seasons. The Horns won't be national champs this year, but it has been exciting and we seem to be on the way to yet another 10-win season and we will look forward to next year, when the journey begins anew. It will be a long eight months. Thank goodness for college basketball***.

* Some don't think anyone but coaches and players should use the pronoun "we" in reference to a sports team. I believe those people don't know what it means to be a real fan. Watching a game the way I do is hard work!
** If Hawaii should win the Sugar Bowl, it is possible that AP voters will choose to vote them national champions, creating a split title with the winner of the BCS Championship. There could be two champs.
*** My top 5 favorite sports to follow: 1) College Football; 2) College Basketball; 3) MLB; 4)NFL; 5)NBA (I still never did the list of favorite sports movies, but this is something, at least.)

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

An Outsider's Perspective

I hope everyone had a very nice Christmas and I hope that the spirit of the season - the giving, sharing, and fellowship - will not fade, but will last until next December and become even stronger as the years go by.

There are a few things about the big holiday and the way it is celebrated that I just simply do not understand. Stockings are a big one. It's a tradition whose roots and/or reasons don't occur to me automatically. Was there just a household, one time, that had nowhere to put the gifts?

"Honey, where can we put these? Oh wait, I know! Is there any extra footwear lying around?"

It does seem to have created a nice code word for crappy gifts: "stocking stuffer." Some stocking stuffers are nice gifts, but it's a very, VERY broad category! You know what I think makes the perfect stocking stuffer? A foot. Now that's something you don't want to wake up and find hanging from the mantle.

I like when people threaten children that they may get coal in their stockings. If I were a kid, I would certainly be tempted to say to my parent, "Fine! Put coal in my stocking. That's just what I want!" Because where the hell are they going to get coal? I mean, who has coal just lying around in case a kid is naughty?!?*

I'm also not too sure about the need to bring a tree into the house for a few weeks and I am absolutely unclear on the idea behind egg nog. Perhaps we'll discuss those next year.

* I would strongly caution children in West Virginia against this type of sass. They have coal in those parts.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Question of the Day/ A Legal Matter, Baby*

We haven't done one of these in a while. This one came to mind as I made a short drive from my home to my office during which I think I may have technically broken three traffic laws. It's also on my mind as I have done some year-end tax planning and, in researching some options, found out about things I'm supposed to have been doing, but did not previously know about. So here's the question...


Is it reasonably possible for an American to be a completely law-abiding citizen?

I love laws. I believe in them and their power to provide the framework for the society in which we wish to live. I believe in their ability to “establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.”**

But do we have too many laws? Federal. State. Local. Tax. Civil. County. Traffic. Have we made so many rules about so many things that it is not even possible to follow them all?

This would make a good book - a citizen's quest to follow all the rules. It may already exist. If you know of any such work or of a situation in which following one law causes you to break another, please let us all know using the comment feature below. If you steal this idea and write the book, please send me a copy.

Those of you who worship in the shadow of the Cross should not let this question and the pondering thereof interfere with a wonderful Christmas. Everyone else... get on it!

* Title of this post comes from a song called “A Legal Matter,” by what I recall having been my very first favorite band, The Who.

** Quote is from the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Fortunate Son

Got an interesting fortune from a cookie the other day. Ready?

An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly!

Have the fortune writers branched out from philosophical wisdom and obvious works of non-fiction (see fortune I received reading, "Everyone agrees. You are the best.")? Is science fiction the future of fortunes? Or will I come to wish that this fortune had been fiction? (Will we have to fight, once again, for our independence? Not from tyranny, oppression or persecution; from annihilation. We'll be fighting for our right to live. And should we win the day, the 14th of December will no longer be known as a ZiggyBackRide holiday, but as the day when the whole world declared in one voice, "We will not go quietly into the night! We're not going to vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on. We're going to survive. Today... we celebrate our independence day!*) Or maybe one wayward fortune writer just got hold of granny's cough syrup and wrote under the influence.

Just in case he was on to something and new friends from other planets are on the way, I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome them to the ZiggyBackRide, Earth's finest** blog! Enjoy your stay! Oh, and don't kill me.

More on aliens soon. Stay tuned.

*Adapted from President Whitmore's inspiring address to the ragtag group of fighter pilots preparing to take on alien invaders in the movie, Independence Day.

**According to a survey of the ZiggyBackRide staff.

Monday, December 03, 2007

And Now In Sports...

Welcome to ZiggyBackRide Sports, where you'll hear the ZBR take on major and exceedingly minor happenings in the world of sports. We turn first to Jewish men's league basketball, where Michael "Ziggy" Danziger is on two teams that are headed for the playoffs. Please note: every team makes the playoffs.

In the 30 and over league, my team is the number one seed in the tournament, looking to finish off the year with a championship. Playoffs began Sunday while my team enjoyed a bye week to prepare for our semi-final matchup next week. In the 18 and over league, my team ruined an unblemished record in our final regular season game by picking up our first win of the season. I've been on some very good teams and some very bad ones. This is a new low. Stay tuned for tourney progress.

And now, in college football: pairings for the BCS bowls were announced last night. Never has the case been more plainly stated for a college football playoff or, at least, a plus-one system. I have never really been in favor of a playoff for two main reasons. 1) It is hard to imagine college football being any more enjoyable than it already is. Sure, it's a wacky system, but it's still fantastic and the wackiness may, in fact, be part of the fun. 2) No system is perfect. Anyone who thinks a playoff won't cause controversy and will automatically crown the best team is kidding himself. (I'll concede here that, given two imperfect systems, it may be preferable for the matter to be settled on the field. Score one for the playoff.)

In college basketball, how about those Texas Longhorns? Having sent rookie of the year frontrunner, Kevin Durant, on to the NBA, the Horns are finding out just how much the rest of the team can do. Steadily climbing the rankings, they are undefeated with two wins over top 5 opponents. Maybe this is the year I get to see Texas and Memphis play for the national title. If only there were a BCS equivalent in basketball instead of that stupid tournament!*

And finally, speaking of tournaments, my comedy career has taken a turn for the odd. Or perhaps, I should say "odds." I will be emceeing Grand Casino - Tunica's Championship 100K Slot Tournament series beginning next Saturday. I have no idea how a slot tournament works or why anyone would want to be in one or how I will refrain from making fun of the event and its participants. I'll certainly keep you posted as this unfolds.

*I love the NCAA Basketball tournament. It is one of the greatest things in the world.