Hello Ziggybackriders! It has been far too long since we've been together! You're looking marvelous, though. I don't know how you do it!
I have so much to fill you in on. Where to begin?
I begin with the title of this post. I did stand-up comedy for the first time two weeks ago today. It was so exciting! I have been talking about doing it for a few years. I have actually been ready to get up and try it for a few months, but couldn't find a place. But then it happened. Memphis' own Stop 345/Paddy's Pub had an open mic night. It was nervewracking because all the best comedians talk about how badly their early outings went, but this was great. The material was tight and people laughed. I can't wait to do it again and again! (you are probably wondering what I talked about. You have seen most of the material in my series "The Season For Loving." This was a couple days before Valentine's day so I did all romance-related stuff.)
Last weekend, I was at the wedding of two close friends. Yes, one's a boy and one's a girl. I grew up with the guy at Camp and met the girl on an Israel trip and I actually introduced them. Hooray for me! It was a lot of fun and a very nice wedding weekend. Nice weather, too. It was in Florida.
This week, the Lady Rabs, the high school girls basketball team that I coach picked up their first win. I believe it was just the first of many, though. Stay tuned for more on the Ladies as the season progresses.
In my own basketball news, the team I play for lost for the first time this season. We have been tearing other teams apart all seasong, but were just out of sync from the get-go last night. We lost by two. Coincidentally, I didn't have my jersey, which resulted in a technical foul, from which our opponents got two points. Laundry can make all the difference.
Alright, I think that's quite enough for now. Sorry I've been absent, but the Ride goes on. Thanks for visiting and have a spectacular weekend!
Friday, February 25, 2005
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
The Season For Loving (IV)
Well, yesterday was Valentine's Day. I hope you had a lovely one! What follows is the final installment of the wildly popular "The Season For Loving" series that has been appearing here in this... well... season for loving. I hope you enjoy it!
Today's Topic: The Shape of My Heart
First of all, yes. I did use a Backstreet Boys song title as today's topic. It's not because I love boy bands. It fits, so BACK OFF!
How did the heart shape that we use to represent love and romance come to be accepted as heart-shaped? You know what I’m talking about? The Valentine’s Day heart (or VDH, as it will henceforth be referred to) looks very little like an actual heart. The resemblance is almost undetectable. So how did the VDH become the way our society pictures the heart? It’s especially funny, I think, because we talk about the heart being the home of our truest feelings.
Oh sure! But try to be truthful about what the heart looks like and it’s, “No! Don’t be silly! That’s not what our hearts look like! What is that, a ventricle? You’re crazy, man. I like you, but you’re… you’re crazy.”
I think there’d be whole new feel to modern romance and Valentine’s Day if we went back to using the real heart. What an image – little baby cupid firing one of his legendary arrows right through the aorta. Valves all aflutter as blood is pumped through that special someone’s cardiovascular system nearby. That’s romance, baby!
It's unlikely, but some of you may recognize this post from the cabinprayers site that I share with friends. But I wrote it, so I'll use it wherever I please, thank you!
Today's Topic: The Shape of My Heart
First of all, yes. I did use a Backstreet Boys song title as today's topic. It's not because I love boy bands. It fits, so BACK OFF!
How did the heart shape that we use to represent love and romance come to be accepted as heart-shaped? You know what I’m talking about? The Valentine’s Day heart (or VDH, as it will henceforth be referred to) looks very little like an actual heart. The resemblance is almost undetectable. So how did the VDH become the way our society pictures the heart? It’s especially funny, I think, because we talk about the heart being the home of our truest feelings.
Oh sure! But try to be truthful about what the heart looks like and it’s, “No! Don’t be silly! That’s not what our hearts look like! What is that, a ventricle? You’re crazy, man. I like you, but you’re… you’re crazy.”
I think there’d be whole new feel to modern romance and Valentine’s Day if we went back to using the real heart. What an image – little baby cupid firing one of his legendary arrows right through the aorta. Valves all aflutter as blood is pumped through that special someone’s cardiovascular system nearby. That’s romance, baby!
It's unlikely, but some of you may recognize this post from the cabinprayers site that I share with friends. But I wrote it, so I'll use it wherever I please, thank you!
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Just A Thought
Don't ask me where thoughts like this come from. I haven't the slightest.
Prunes are dried plums. Dried plums. Prune... juice?
P.S. - The Runnin' Rabbis (basketball team I coach) won tonight. Doesn't happen often. Sweet.
Prunes are dried plums. Dried plums. Prune... juice?
P.S. - The Runnin' Rabbis (basketball team I coach) won tonight. Doesn't happen often. Sweet.
Monday, February 07, 2005
A Quick Giggle
Hello there! I hope you had a nice weekend and enjoyed your Super Bowl Sunday. Today is the start of a new work week and yet another day that I should be working on finding a new job to begin this Summer or Fall. With those work-related items in mind, I share a quick thought from Jerry Seinfeld on the workplace...
"Why do people who work in offices have pictures of their family on their desk facing them? Do they forget that they're married? Do they say to themselves, 'All right. Five o'clock. Time to hit the bars and pick up some hookers. Hold it a second, look at this picture. I got a wife and three kids. I completely forgot! I better get home.'"
Just a little Jerry (not the "Little Jerry," of course) to liven up a rainy Memphis Monday. Have a good one!
"Why do people who work in offices have pictures of their family on their desk facing them? Do they forget that they're married? Do they say to themselves, 'All right. Five o'clock. Time to hit the bars and pick up some hookers. Hold it a second, look at this picture. I got a wife and three kids. I completely forgot! I better get home.'"
Just a little Jerry (not the "Little Jerry," of course) to liven up a rainy Memphis Monday. Have a good one!
Friday, February 04, 2005
The Season For Loving (IIIb)
This is the continuation of "The Season For Loving (III)" which ended with a "to be continued..." I know that many of you have been awaiting the resolution of this romance-related cliffhanger with baited (I don't know what that means) breath. The wait is over. You made it. Well done. Those of you who've not yet read part one may wish to scroll down and read that first. Okay, here goes.
Previously, on the The Season For Loving...
... that wouldn't really work because we don't always know what we want. But that's a problem that's not limited to men.
Today's Topic: What Women Want
It's hard to tell what women want. Mostly because they lie about it. You always see these surveys of women about what they're looking for in a man. Usually, the results are reported something like this:
"Surprisingly, 54% of the 1,000 women we polled said they are simply looking for 'someone who can make me laugh.' "
Really? That's it. Someone who can make them laugh? I don't think so. I make people laugh all the time. Some of them are even women. I would say that I am an expert (possibly the world's foremost) in knowing that laughter is NOT number one on the list.
Now, when you look at those surveys, you'll see that there are always a few more honest ladies way down the list who are looking for handsome, wealthy, sensitive men. The rest of them just want to laugh. Of course, what they fail to mention is that they always get really giggly around handsome, wealthy, sensitive men!
Men are just the opposite. We say we want young, rich women with great bodies, but what we really want...... is exactly that. See, ladies. You don't have to lie.
Previously, on the The Season For Loving...
... that wouldn't really work because we don't always know what we want. But that's a problem that's not limited to men.
Today's Topic: What Women Want
It's hard to tell what women want. Mostly because they lie about it. You always see these surveys of women about what they're looking for in a man. Usually, the results are reported something like this:
"Surprisingly, 54% of the 1,000 women we polled said they are simply looking for 'someone who can make me laugh.' "
Really? That's it. Someone who can make them laugh? I don't think so. I make people laugh all the time. Some of them are even women. I would say that I am an expert (possibly the world's foremost) in knowing that laughter is NOT number one on the list.
Now, when you look at those surveys, you'll see that there are always a few more honest ladies way down the list who are looking for handsome, wealthy, sensitive men. The rest of them just want to laugh. Of course, what they fail to mention is that they always get really giggly around handsome, wealthy, sensitive men!
Men are just the opposite. We say we want young, rich women with great bodies, but what we really want...... is exactly that. See, ladies. You don't have to lie.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
A Weather-Related Cinematic Tribute
Today is Groundhog Day - the day when an anointed creature in small-town Pennsylvania decides the foreseeable meteorological future for us, by either seeing his shadow - which means six more weeks of Winter - or not - meaning Spring is on the way. It's a rather funny little holiday and, while I'm certain this groundhog has had extensive training, I don't put too much stock in his prediction. However, the holiday did serve as inspiration for a great, but often underappreciated movie that shares the holiday's name, "Groundhog Day." The movie starred Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell and was written by Danny Rubin and Harold Ramis. If you haven't seen it in a while, watch it again. It's good.
Below, find excerpts from some of the commentaries on the groundhog and the holiday delivered by Phil Connors (weatherman played by Bill Murray) in the movie...
Phil: Once a year, the eyes of the nation turn here, to this tiny hamlet in Pennsylvania, to watch a master at work. The master? Punxsutawney Phil, the world's most famous weatherman, the groundhog who, as legend has it, can predict the coming of an early spring. And here's the moment we've all been waiting for. Let's just see what Mr. Groundhog has to say. Hey! Over here, you little weasel! Well, that's it. Sorry you couldn't be here in person to share the electric moment. This is one event where television really fails to capture the excitement of thousands of people gathered to watch a large squirrel predict the weather, and I, for one, am deeply grateful to have been a part of it. Reporting for Channel 9, this is Phil Connors.
Phil: This is one of the most pitiful spectacles known to civilization. With one nod from a filthy rodent best known to pest control agencies, a moribund old coal mining hamlet turns into the Lourdes of Pennsylvania, mecca to thousands of people who, if they hated the winter so damned much, why don't they just move to Florida, anyway? There is no way this winter is ever going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow everyday. I don't see any other way out. He's got to be stopped and I've got to stop him. For Channel 9 news, this is Phil Connors.
Phil: In fact, the groundhog's legendary ability to predict the weather may be more than just the German folklore of the region. Higher temperatures trigger hormonal changes in the testosterone levels of male groundhogs, which may in fact wake them from hibernation and send them out to battle with other males for mating rights. So the truth is, they're not looking for their shadows, they're looking for groundhog chicks.
Phil: When Chekhov saw the long winter, it was a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope; and yet, we know winter's only one more step in the cycle. And standing among the people of Punxsutawney - basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter. For Channel 9 news, I'm Phil Connors.
See the movie about the day Phil Connors lives over and over, over and over. It's good. Hope you're enjoying your winter. Don't forget to check back tomorrow for The Season For Loving IIIb: What Women Want!
Below, find excerpts from some of the commentaries on the groundhog and the holiday delivered by Phil Connors (weatherman played by Bill Murray) in the movie...
Phil: Once a year, the eyes of the nation turn here, to this tiny hamlet in Pennsylvania, to watch a master at work. The master? Punxsutawney Phil, the world's most famous weatherman, the groundhog who, as legend has it, can predict the coming of an early spring. And here's the moment we've all been waiting for. Let's just see what Mr. Groundhog has to say. Hey! Over here, you little weasel! Well, that's it. Sorry you couldn't be here in person to share the electric moment. This is one event where television really fails to capture the excitement of thousands of people gathered to watch a large squirrel predict the weather, and I, for one, am deeply grateful to have been a part of it. Reporting for Channel 9, this is Phil Connors.
Phil: This is one of the most pitiful spectacles known to civilization. With one nod from a filthy rodent best known to pest control agencies, a moribund old coal mining hamlet turns into the Lourdes of Pennsylvania, mecca to thousands of people who, if they hated the winter so damned much, why don't they just move to Florida, anyway? There is no way this winter is ever going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow everyday. I don't see any other way out. He's got to be stopped and I've got to stop him. For Channel 9 news, this is Phil Connors.
Phil: In fact, the groundhog's legendary ability to predict the weather may be more than just the German folklore of the region. Higher temperatures trigger hormonal changes in the testosterone levels of male groundhogs, which may in fact wake them from hibernation and send them out to battle with other males for mating rights. So the truth is, they're not looking for their shadows, they're looking for groundhog chicks.
Phil: When Chekhov saw the long winter, it was a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope; and yet, we know winter's only one more step in the cycle. And standing among the people of Punxsutawney - basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter. For Channel 9 news, I'm Phil Connors.
See the movie about the day Phil Connors lives over and over, over and over. It's good. Hope you're enjoying your winter. Don't forget to check back tomorrow for The Season For Loving IIIb: What Women Want!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
The Season For Loving (III)
Good afternoon! (It may not be afternoon when you read this, but it is when I am writing it and at this very moment, I hope you're having a good afternoon. Understand?) The following is the third installment in "The Season For Loving," a series of Valentine's Day related posts leading up to the big day. I guess I just have heart matters on the mind. Not because I am wrapped up in romance, but because I just ate at McDonald's for the first time since seeing the movie "Supersize Me" a few months ago. That movie scared me. As a result, my lunch scares me. Now I just hope I live until Valentine's Day.
But I digress.
Today's topic: Men and Commitment
People always talk about men having problems with commitment.
"Men can't commit."
"I can't get him to commit."
"Oh, he'll never commit."
I think everyone's missing the boat on this. We don't have trouble committing. We have trouble choosing. The question isn't whether I can commit; it's whether she can convince me that she's definitely the one I want. So, in a way, the problem is really with the women.
If only they could present their cases a little more clearly. That's what we really need. Get all the women in whom we're even remotely interested into a room, let them make their best case, and we'll choose. Then we'll be committed. Of course, that wouldn't really work because we don't always know what we want. But that's a problem that's not limited to men.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Oooh, a cliffhanger! I'll bet you weren't expecting that! You never know what kinds of twists and turns the ziggybackride will take.
Tune in again soon to find out all about What Women Want.
But I digress.
Today's topic: Men and Commitment
People always talk about men having problems with commitment.
"Men can't commit."
"I can't get him to commit."
"Oh, he'll never commit."
I think everyone's missing the boat on this. We don't have trouble committing. We have trouble choosing. The question isn't whether I can commit; it's whether she can convince me that she's definitely the one I want. So, in a way, the problem is really with the women.
If only they could present their cases a little more clearly. That's what we really need. Get all the women in whom we're even remotely interested into a room, let them make their best case, and we'll choose. Then we'll be committed. Of course, that wouldn't really work because we don't always know what we want. But that's a problem that's not limited to men.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Oooh, a cliffhanger! I'll bet you weren't expecting that! You never know what kinds of twists and turns the ziggybackride will take.
Tune in again soon to find out all about What Women Want.
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