Man, this trip really is covering that scene from Wayne’s World! Unfortunately, I do not expect to make it to Hawaii in the next two days. I was, indeed, in Delaware earlier today on my return train trip from D.C. to New York. It was lovely.
I also passed through Trenton, N.J., where I found out –from painfully large lettering displayed on a bridge as we passed into town – that “Trenton Makes And The World Takes.” Does it sound to anyone else as though maybe Trenton has a little bit of a chip on its shoulder? I mean, I assume the world pays for whatever it is taking out of Trenton. Or do other countries sneak in under cover of darkness to pilfer the Trenton-made goods that are in such high demand the world over? Why not just make the sign read, “Thanks A Lot! Ya Screwed Us Again!”
In other news, the D.C. weekend was great! I got to see a lot of friends and we can now add Ethan’s Parlor, as well as Julius & Mandy’s Comedy Basement, to my list of clubs. Those are actually the homes of friends where I ended up doing “shows” for other friends over the weekend. It was a little weird, but I’ve performed for smaller audiences before. Plus, these guys were laughing when I said “hi,” so I knew they’d be easy!
The marathon was a lot of fun. It was a beautiful day and our friends were awesome. We got to see them 5 or 6 times along the course, and I spent the day with a huge mylar ghost balloon, which we carried so that our runners could identify us along the route. I even took my ghastly friend aboard the Metro. That was embarrassing. As for the marathon, itself, I stand by my assessment of the activity from the last post, but I will say that it was terrifically impressive to watch the runners fight their way through the long race. It was a great reminder of how strong we can be when we wish to be. It was also striking to see the number of people who were there cheering and the intense effect they seemed to have on the runners. The power of encouragement and the infectiousness of enthusiasm were on full display. It was cool. So cool, in fact, that now I am even thinking of never running a marathon.
Happy Halloween!
Monday, October 31, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Good Morning, America, How Are You?
Just fine! I’m writing from aboard Amtrak’s Regional service between New York’s Penn Station and Union Station in our nation’s capital. I’m enjoying the grandeur of travel by rail… through Jersey. Awesome!
This represents a break in Michael Danziger’s “Bluff City to the Big City” New York City Stand-Up Comedy Extravaganza 2005 (or the MDBCBCNYCSUCE’05, for short), which has been great since last I wrote. My last 4 performances – which bring the total to 11 – have been before sizeable audiences and have been a lot of fun. My sets have been very well-received, swelling my ego in ways never before imagined. Just kidding about the ego, but I had almost forgotten how much fun it is to perform for real people, as opposed to roomsful of comedians.
Speaking of real people, now’s a great time for a very special thanks to the family, friends, and friends-of-friends who made it to one show or another. It was exceedingly nice of them/you to make time to come out and support/judge me, sometimes at significant expense.
So here’s the list of clubs at which I’ve performed: The Village Lantern, The Bowery Poetry Club, Sal’s Comedy Hole (probably my favorite name), Comedy Cellar, New York Comedy Club (3 times), The Duplex, Laugh Lounge NY, Stand Up New York, and Gotham Comedy Club. We’ll see about adding one or two more next week before I return home.
Finally, I am on the way to D.C. to cheer on two friends who are running the Marine Corps Marathon there tomorrow. I’m proud of them and know they will do well. I do have to wonder about the increasingly large number of friends, family, and acquaintances that have chosen to run marathons in recent years. It’s hard for me to believe that I have enough in common with these people to maintain our relationships! Why would anyone run a marathon? It’s healthy to be able to run 26 miles, but I’m absolutely certain that it’s not healthy to actually do it. The name marathon comes from the Battle of Marathon, which happened back in the days of yore. You know. Back in umm… yore. At the conclusion of the battle, a messenger ran to spread the news of victory, crying “Nike! Nike!” which may or may not mean victory. His legendary run is the namesake of the modern races. The part of the story I think we are a wee bit too quick to forget is that, according to the lore (That’s yore and lore in one paragraph, for those keeping lore/yore score at home.) the messenger, after having successfully delivered his message (i.e. run his marathon), dropped dead.
Yeah, I gotta get out and run me one of these!
This represents a break in Michael Danziger’s “Bluff City to the Big City” New York City Stand-Up Comedy Extravaganza 2005 (or the MDBCBCNYCSUCE’05, for short), which has been great since last I wrote. My last 4 performances – which bring the total to 11 – have been before sizeable audiences and have been a lot of fun. My sets have been very well-received, swelling my ego in ways never before imagined. Just kidding about the ego, but I had almost forgotten how much fun it is to perform for real people, as opposed to roomsful of comedians.
Speaking of real people, now’s a great time for a very special thanks to the family, friends, and friends-of-friends who made it to one show or another. It was exceedingly nice of them/you to make time to come out and support/judge me, sometimes at significant expense.
So here’s the list of clubs at which I’ve performed: The Village Lantern, The Bowery Poetry Club, Sal’s Comedy Hole (probably my favorite name), Comedy Cellar, New York Comedy Club (3 times), The Duplex, Laugh Lounge NY, Stand Up New York, and Gotham Comedy Club. We’ll see about adding one or two more next week before I return home.
Finally, I am on the way to D.C. to cheer on two friends who are running the Marine Corps Marathon there tomorrow. I’m proud of them and know they will do well. I do have to wonder about the increasingly large number of friends, family, and acquaintances that have chosen to run marathons in recent years. It’s hard for me to believe that I have enough in common with these people to maintain our relationships! Why would anyone run a marathon? It’s healthy to be able to run 26 miles, but I’m absolutely certain that it’s not healthy to actually do it. The name marathon comes from the Battle of Marathon, which happened back in the days of yore. You know. Back in umm… yore. At the conclusion of the battle, a messenger ran to spread the news of victory, crying “Nike! Nike!” which may or may not mean victory. His legendary run is the namesake of the modern races. The part of the story I think we are a wee bit too quick to forget is that, according to the lore (That’s yore and lore in one paragraph, for those keeping lore/yore score at home.) the messenger, after having successfully delivered his message (i.e. run his marathon), dropped dead.
Yeah, I gotta get out and run me one of these!
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Seen in the City
First, by the numbers, continued...
6 is the number of people present when I performed
6 more minutes of comedy at my
6th club in New York. I was
1 of the
6. Tonight will see clubs
7 and
8, and there should be
more people at
both. I don't see how there could be
fewer.
The other day, I walked through Washington Square Park in the NYU area. I saw the guys who are always out there playing chess (If you've seen Searching for Bobby Fischer, you know what I'm talking about). That was cool. Even cooler? When I walked through, they were being treated to an incredibly disturbing outburst by a woman who was either... 1) the worst street performer of all time, or 2) the best crazy lady ever. I didn't get to stick around and see if there was an end, followed by applause - which would have meant scenario 1, or, well, an end followed by applause - which probably would have meant scenario 2. Hmmm.
Sunday, as I was wandering the streets during a couple hours of homelessness before the friend with whom I'm currently staying returned to the city, I visited the famous New York public library, where I saw the famous lion statues out front, as well as many interesting exhibits (though I never actually found the books) inside. That was cool. Even cooler? I saw a group of French students and their teacher oohing and ahhing over a dead cockroach on the front steps of the building. They noticed how entertained I was and I falsely explained that we, too, "get very excited to see them." They explained that they had been studying them. The lesson? School in France must suck.
6 is the number of people present when I performed
6 more minutes of comedy at my
6th club in New York. I was
1 of the
6. Tonight will see clubs
7 and
8, and there should be
more people at
both. I don't see how there could be
fewer.
The other day, I walked through Washington Square Park in the NYU area. I saw the guys who are always out there playing chess (If you've seen Searching for Bobby Fischer, you know what I'm talking about). That was cool. Even cooler? When I walked through, they were being treated to an incredibly disturbing outburst by a woman who was either... 1) the worst street performer of all time, or 2) the best crazy lady ever. I didn't get to stick around and see if there was an end, followed by applause - which would have meant scenario 1, or, well, an end followed by applause - which probably would have meant scenario 2. Hmmm.
Sunday, as I was wandering the streets during a couple hours of homelessness before the friend with whom I'm currently staying returned to the city, I visited the famous New York public library, where I saw the famous lion statues out front, as well as many interesting exhibits (though I never actually found the books) inside. That was cool. Even cooler? I saw a group of French students and their teacher oohing and ahhing over a dead cockroach on the front steps of the building. They noticed how entertained I was and I falsely explained that we, too, "get very excited to see them." They explained that they had been studying them. The lesson? School in France must suck.
Monday, October 24, 2005
East Side Story
My New York trip so far, by the numbers....
5 comedy performances, totalling
29.5 minutes on
5 stages at
5 clubs, with a break to serve as
1 emergency chaperone on
1 confirmation class trip from Memphis, TN when
1 of the original chaperones had to go home on Flight #
678 (I made that up, but was tired of typing just 1's and 5's), leaving
17 kids, including
3 Israeli teens with
not enough leaders. We went to
3 synagogues and I saw Fiddler on the Roof on Broadway for the
2nd time. It starred Harvey Fierstein as Tevye. He was
bad (not a number, but true), but the show was good.
2 years ago, I saw him as the mother in Hairspray. Better.
4 is the train I will take in
45 minutes to get to my
6th comedy appearance, so I better finish up in the next
10 minutes or so, so I can prepare for tonight's comedy marathon.
24 is the # of comedians that performed in the
1st show I did here. There were
0 other audience members present. That is not unusual.
It's going great! More later!
5 comedy performances, totalling
29.5 minutes on
5 stages at
5 clubs, with a break to serve as
1 emergency chaperone on
1 confirmation class trip from Memphis, TN when
1 of the original chaperones had to go home on Flight #
678 (I made that up, but was tired of typing just 1's and 5's), leaving
17 kids, including
3 Israeli teens with
not enough leaders. We went to
3 synagogues and I saw Fiddler on the Roof on Broadway for the
2nd time. It starred Harvey Fierstein as Tevye. He was
bad (not a number, but true), but the show was good.
2 years ago, I saw him as the mother in Hairspray. Better.
4 is the train I will take in
45 minutes to get to my
6th comedy appearance, so I better finish up in the next
10 minutes or so, so I can prepare for tonight's comedy marathon.
24 is the # of comedians that performed in the
1st show I did here. There were
0 other audience members present. That is not unusual.
It's going great! More later!
Monday, October 17, 2005
Start Spreadin' It
“Hey! I’m in New York! I’ve got a gun! Let’s go see a Broadway show!”
I am, indeed, in New York and I find myself tempted to repeat that line from Wayne’s World over and over again. Out loud, I mean, because it’s definitely happening in my head! I’ve been here several times before, mind you, but it’s a special place and it does always bring to mind many t.v. and movie favorites that are set here.
Today, in my travels around the city (walking and riding the subway all over to get better acquainted with the loudest place on earth) I walked by the Soup Nazi place from Seinfeld. I believe he calls himself The Soup Man. Less funny, but probably also less insulting. Right next door, I found the headquarters for Kenny Kramer’s Reality Tour. Kenny is the real-life Kramer upon whom the Kramer we all know and love was partially based. Deep down, I know that this is not a t.v. show, but real life, but I couldn’t help chuckling. I look forward to visiting the famous Waldorf-Astoria hotel at some later point and reliving favorite moments from Coming To America and other fine movies set there.
I have also seen the latest fashion trends out and about in the city today and, ladies, here’s what’s coming… Crazy styles of tall, tight boots that you’ll be tucking your jeans into when you want to look like the fashionable women of NYC. If you are worried that the designers spent too much time making them look outlandish, don’t. They also took care to make them look as uncomfortable as possible. You’ll love them! Be on the lookout.
The rest of the city seems to be fumbling about with their iPod headphones all day. I didn’t use mine today – wanted to look like a tourist.
Comedy starts tonight, baby! I’ll be at two open mics – one at The Village Lantern in… that’s right, the Village, and then at the Bowery Poetry Club, where I believe the mic is open to all sorts of nonsense besides comedy. Should be fun. New York, get ready to laugh!
I am, indeed, in New York and I find myself tempted to repeat that line from Wayne’s World over and over again. Out loud, I mean, because it’s definitely happening in my head! I’ve been here several times before, mind you, but it’s a special place and it does always bring to mind many t.v. and movie favorites that are set here.
Today, in my travels around the city (walking and riding the subway all over to get better acquainted with the loudest place on earth) I walked by the Soup Nazi place from Seinfeld. I believe he calls himself The Soup Man. Less funny, but probably also less insulting. Right next door, I found the headquarters for Kenny Kramer’s Reality Tour. Kenny is the real-life Kramer upon whom the Kramer we all know and love was partially based. Deep down, I know that this is not a t.v. show, but real life, but I couldn’t help chuckling. I look forward to visiting the famous Waldorf-Astoria hotel at some later point and reliving favorite moments from Coming To America and other fine movies set there.
I have also seen the latest fashion trends out and about in the city today and, ladies, here’s what’s coming… Crazy styles of tall, tight boots that you’ll be tucking your jeans into when you want to look like the fashionable women of NYC. If you are worried that the designers spent too much time making them look outlandish, don’t. They also took care to make them look as uncomfortable as possible. You’ll love them! Be on the lookout.
The rest of the city seems to be fumbling about with their iPod headphones all day. I didn’t use mine today – wanted to look like a tourist.
Comedy starts tonight, baby! I’ll be at two open mics – one at The Village Lantern in… that’s right, the Village, and then at the Bowery Poetry Club, where I believe the mic is open to all sorts of nonsense besides comedy. Should be fun. New York, get ready to laugh!
Friday, October 14, 2005
I Love the Smell of Memphis in the Morning!
It is 8:35 a.m. I just finished a bar-b-q sandwich.
I should probably just end the post right there, and it would be one of my finest. I think we all know, however, that I will do no such thing. My best work is obviously yet to come!
I’m sitting in the Memphis airport (I’ve written from here before, but this time I’m in the B concourse, so it’s all different), waiting to depart for what I’m sure will be an epic Mid-Atlantic journey. First stop – Saratoga Springs, NY, for the wedding of a good friend and former co-worker (They are the same person. They’re getting married to someone else.) My plane doesn’t go all the way to Saratoga Springs, though. I get off in Albany. Then I’ll just walk or something.
Sunday, I will leave the wedding-hosting hamlet for the big city. New York City. (I know, I know. New York City?!? Get a rope. Just a little shout out to all the Pace Picante Sauce fans out there. And I know you’re out there.) “Why NYC?” you may ask. “Good question,” I may reply. “Thanks,” you’d certainly add, being the gracious soul that you are. “You’re wel-
Sorry. Got a little off track there. I’m going to New York to do comedy. The Big Apple is going to laugh its big a$# off, assuming, that is, that I actually get to perform there! Just kidding. I will perform. I will be good. I will keep you posted.
I’m looking forward to seeing many friends, both at the wedding and in the city. I also can’t wait to do some exploring in the world’s most famous city. When it’s over, though, I know I won’t be able to wait to return to my hometown. My charming community. My great climate. My potable tap water. My morning bar-b-q. My Memphis!
I should probably just end the post right there, and it would be one of my finest. I think we all know, however, that I will do no such thing. My best work is obviously yet to come!
I’m sitting in the Memphis airport (I’ve written from here before, but this time I’m in the B concourse, so it’s all different), waiting to depart for what I’m sure will be an epic Mid-Atlantic journey. First stop – Saratoga Springs, NY, for the wedding of a good friend and former co-worker (They are the same person. They’re getting married to someone else.) My plane doesn’t go all the way to Saratoga Springs, though. I get off in Albany. Then I’ll just walk or something.
Sunday, I will leave the wedding-hosting hamlet for the big city. New York City. (I know, I know. New York City?!? Get a rope. Just a little shout out to all the Pace Picante Sauce fans out there. And I know you’re out there.) “Why NYC?” you may ask. “Good question,” I may reply. “Thanks,” you’d certainly add, being the gracious soul that you are. “You’re wel-
Sorry. Got a little off track there. I’m going to New York to do comedy. The Big Apple is going to laugh its big a$# off, assuming, that is, that I actually get to perform there! Just kidding. I will perform. I will be good. I will keep you posted.
I’m looking forward to seeing many friends, both at the wedding and in the city. I also can’t wait to do some exploring in the world’s most famous city. When it’s over, though, I know I won’t be able to wait to return to my hometown. My charming community. My great climate. My potable tap water. My morning bar-b-q. My Memphis!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Can You Ever Forgive Me?
In a few hours, we usher in Yom Kippur, Judaism's day of atonement - a day that finds us asking for and granting forgivness, and that ends, if all is well, with renewed hope for a year of renewed life and goodness. With "the Yom" fast approaching, I'm offering up some Jewish wisdom that'll work for anyone...
"To say that God forgives us for our misdeeds is not a statement about God's emotional generosity. It is a statement about us. To feel forgiven is to feel free to step into the future uncontaminated by the mistakes of the past, encouraged by the knowledge that we can grow and change and need not repeat the same mistakes again."
-Rabbi Harold Kushner
We'll get back to the funny stuff after the holiday.
Okay, I'm off. Time to not eat.
"To say that God forgives us for our misdeeds is not a statement about God's emotional generosity. It is a statement about us. To feel forgiven is to feel free to step into the future uncontaminated by the mistakes of the past, encouraged by the knowledge that we can grow and change and need not repeat the same mistakes again."
-Rabbi Harold Kushner
We'll get back to the funny stuff after the holiday.
Okay, I'm off. Time to not eat.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Without a Car in the World
The last several hours went something like this....
10:45 p.m. - returned home from a fun and successful comedy performance
11:oo - decided to go the grocery store to get some fruit and a few other things; drove to a Kroger store a few miles from my house
11:30ish - checked out with 5 items
11:32 - pulled out of my parking space, noticing immediately that something was amiss
11:32 and 11 seconds - realized front passenger tire was completely flat
11:43 - after discovering that I was missing a needed tool to change the tire myself, called AAA. They took my info and informed me that someone would be out in about an hour. I took my new ice cream back inside the store and put it in a freezer near the checkout.
12:06 a.m. - Call my friend Anna whose birthday is today. She's in Arizona where it's still yesterday, but in Memphis, it's her birthday. She understood.
12:43 - no sign of help. I call AAA back. Just as I'm starting to talk, the truck pulls in. Amazing!
12:55 - Old tire in the trunk, spare tire on the car, I'm ready to go. I go inside and get my ice cream back.
12:58 - Pulled out of my 2nd parking space and, as I'm pulling out onto the street, feel that something is amiss, once again. I pull over to the right and get out. The spare tire is flat. It was not flat at 12:55.
1:00 - Called AAA and explained that I would be needing further assistance - a tow this time, as I had run plum out of tires. They informed me that someone would be out in about an hour. I took my ice cream back into the store and put it in the freezer.
2:00 - After an hour of wandering and kicking a rock around an increasingly quiet Kroger parking lot, as well as perusing RSVP, a local social scene magazine, to see who went to what party , I called AAA, hoping that the same magic would occur and a truck would pull in just as I began to talk. Not so fast my friend.
2:05 - I am on hold while they try to radio the wrecker driver and see why he has not rescued me.
2:10 - on hold
2:17 - on hold
2:22 - on hold
2:26 - AAA representative suggests that I let them call me back in a few minutes so we don't kill my cell phone. One of the night's smarter moments. I go back out into the deserted parking lot to look for my kicking rock. One of the night's dumber moments.
2:34 - AAA calls. They don't know what happened to the truck that was supposed to come. Another truck is coming. It'll be about 40 minutes. More wandering and loitering. I dozed for a second in the seat of a motorized shopping cart for the elderly and disabled.
3:09 - Truck arrives. Huzzah! Car is loaded up. I go back into the store to once again retrieve my ice cream.
3:31 - Truck pulls into my condo complex to drop me off. Driver recalls the time he was called to the complex (I have no idea in what capacity) by the police when neighbors of mine (whom I did not, and do not, know) were busted for a child pornography ring. Good times.
3:33 - I'm home at last and my car is on it's way to "the shop," which I will need to call in the morning to explain why my car is in its parking lot.
3:34 - I get a spoon.
3:35 - I open my ice cream and wake up the computer.
3:36 - I begin telling you of my adventures in East Memphis, and end by telling you that there's a Kroger right across the street from where I live. I drove to the other one so I could listen to a song in the car.
Good night!
10:45 p.m. - returned home from a fun and successful comedy performance
11:oo - decided to go the grocery store to get some fruit and a few other things; drove to a Kroger store a few miles from my house
11:30ish - checked out with 5 items
11:32 - pulled out of my parking space, noticing immediately that something was amiss
11:32 and 11 seconds - realized front passenger tire was completely flat
11:43 - after discovering that I was missing a needed tool to change the tire myself, called AAA. They took my info and informed me that someone would be out in about an hour. I took my new ice cream back inside the store and put it in a freezer near the checkout.
12:06 a.m. - Call my friend Anna whose birthday is today. She's in Arizona where it's still yesterday, but in Memphis, it's her birthday. She understood.
12:43 - no sign of help. I call AAA back. Just as I'm starting to talk, the truck pulls in. Amazing!
12:55 - Old tire in the trunk, spare tire on the car, I'm ready to go. I go inside and get my ice cream back.
12:58 - Pulled out of my 2nd parking space and, as I'm pulling out onto the street, feel that something is amiss, once again. I pull over to the right and get out. The spare tire is flat. It was not flat at 12:55.
1:00 - Called AAA and explained that I would be needing further assistance - a tow this time, as I had run plum out of tires. They informed me that someone would be out in about an hour. I took my ice cream back into the store and put it in the freezer.
2:00 - After an hour of wandering and kicking a rock around an increasingly quiet Kroger parking lot, as well as perusing RSVP, a local social scene magazine, to see who went to what party , I called AAA, hoping that the same magic would occur and a truck would pull in just as I began to talk. Not so fast my friend.
2:05 - I am on hold while they try to radio the wrecker driver and see why he has not rescued me.
2:10 - on hold
2:17 - on hold
2:22 - on hold
2:26 - AAA representative suggests that I let them call me back in a few minutes so we don't kill my cell phone. One of the night's smarter moments. I go back out into the deserted parking lot to look for my kicking rock. One of the night's dumber moments.
2:34 - AAA calls. They don't know what happened to the truck that was supposed to come. Another truck is coming. It'll be about 40 minutes. More wandering and loitering. I dozed for a second in the seat of a motorized shopping cart for the elderly and disabled.
3:09 - Truck arrives. Huzzah! Car is loaded up. I go back into the store to once again retrieve my ice cream.
3:31 - Truck pulls into my condo complex to drop me off. Driver recalls the time he was called to the complex (I have no idea in what capacity) by the police when neighbors of mine (whom I did not, and do not, know) were busted for a child pornography ring. Good times.
3:33 - I'm home at last and my car is on it's way to "the shop," which I will need to call in the morning to explain why my car is in its parking lot.
3:34 - I get a spoon.
3:35 - I open my ice cream and wake up the computer.
3:36 - I begin telling you of my adventures in East Memphis, and end by telling you that there's a Kroger right across the street from where I live. I drove to the other one so I could listen to a song in the car.
Good night!
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Red River "Rockin' and Rollin' (and What Not")
Holy poop! Today's the day. The 100th meeting between the Texas Longhorns and the Oklahoma Sooners at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. A huge day! If you aren't a football fan, or even a sports fan, it's time to change. This is huge and I can't wait!
As we speak (as I type) I am watching the television show that I have long enjoyed, but only recently come to recognize as my favorite of all shows - ESPN's College GameDay (built by the Home Depot). I love this show and can't wait to watch it every week. It tears me apart when I am invited to a bar or bat mitzvah during the football season because I will miss part of the show (and this one isn't too good later on tape or TiVo). I even like the commercials - my favorite being Under Armor's "We must protect this HOUSE!" series. I'm still waiting for it.
I believe we have found my mania. I am, otherwise, a mentally and emotionally well-balanced person with a talent for keeping proper perspective (of couse I think this about myself, but I'm pretty sure I'm right). A little bit of that, against my better judgement, goes out the window on Texas game days, when - as we've covered before and as many of you have questioned me about, rightly so - I take care to eat orange foods and drink orange drinks as part of my making sure I've done all I can to push my beloved Longhorns to victory. That's on any game day. This one, as a big rivalry game that is always in the national spotlight, is much bigger (read: I am much crazier). I am aware that, in the grand scheme of things, today's football game is of little consequence. Doesn't matter! I am so excited! I have been for days and I guarantee you that, win or lose, I'll be talking about the game with like-minded fans (and probably with people who don't care) until the two teams square off again next year.
Hook 'Em Horns and may you have a great day! Back to the cheddar and sour cream baked ruffles and Diet Rite tangerine soda.
As we speak (as I type) I am watching the television show that I have long enjoyed, but only recently come to recognize as my favorite of all shows - ESPN's College GameDay (built by the Home Depot). I love this show and can't wait to watch it every week. It tears me apart when I am invited to a bar or bat mitzvah during the football season because I will miss part of the show (and this one isn't too good later on tape or TiVo). I even like the commercials - my favorite being Under Armor's "We must protect this HOUSE!" series. I'm still waiting for it.
I believe we have found my mania. I am, otherwise, a mentally and emotionally well-balanced person with a talent for keeping proper perspective (of couse I think this about myself, but I'm pretty sure I'm right). A little bit of that, against my better judgement, goes out the window on Texas game days, when - as we've covered before and as many of you have questioned me about, rightly so - I take care to eat orange foods and drink orange drinks as part of my making sure I've done all I can to push my beloved Longhorns to victory. That's on any game day. This one, as a big rivalry game that is always in the national spotlight, is much bigger (read: I am much crazier). I am aware that, in the grand scheme of things, today's football game is of little consequence. Doesn't matter! I am so excited! I have been for days and I guarantee you that, win or lose, I'll be talking about the game with like-minded fans (and probably with people who don't care) until the two teams square off again next year.
Hook 'Em Horns and may you have a great day! Back to the cheddar and sour cream baked ruffles and Diet Rite tangerine soda.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
525,600 Minutes
Friday was the 30th anniversary of the first day of humanity’s golden age (and the 9th anniversary of the first time I saw Tommy Boy – see last post), or as everyone else calls it, my birthday. It was a big day here in Ziggybackrideland. Okay, you got me. There’s no such place as Ziggybackrideland, but it was a big day. Okay?
I spent the morning working on a Habitat for Humanity house that is being coordinated by a kid I know on the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah. It was a gorgeous Memphis morning and a fun way to spend part of the day. I worked on the roof. (I would like to apologize now to the soon-to-be owners/inhabiters of the house for any leaks. I was assured that gaps would be filled in with tar during a later stage of roofing.) Later, there was dinner with the family, and then out to a new bar right near my house where I guess I almost got in a fight.
I was sitting, talking to a friend when I noticed (I could partly hear and could wholly lipread) a guy near me – a guy whom I do not know and to whom I have absolutely no connection - speaking ill of me. Then, of course, I had to glance back a couple of times to make sure I was right and that my increased age hadn’t brought with it an acute paranoia. Turns out I was right. He came over to the table and asked me quite indignantly, “Do you have a staring problem?” I indicated that I was not aware of one. Perturbed at my rebuff of his initial hypothesis, he irritably asked, “Are you talking about other people?” Again, I had to politely let him down as I let him know that, in fact, I was not. He then advised me to “Keep to myself,” adding a derisive term that starts with an 'f', ends with a 't', and has an 'aggo' in the middle and walked back to his friends, proud, I’m sure, of a job well done. He was quite the peace keeper. He did, however, check back several times to make sure that I did not eventually succumb to the much feared staring problem. It was very exciting. Next time, I will use my kara-tay (pronounced as Ross Geller would) and whip his sorry ass. No. No, I probably won’t.
In all seriousness, the birthday was a great chance to reflect on the year that has ended and gaze forward at the one now beginning. It’s like Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur - the approaching Jewish holidays that are all about renewal and introspection - had come early for me! I looked back at the joys and upsets, successes and failures, laughs, experiences, friends, changes, efforts, tragedies, surprises, romances, excitements, lessons…of the last year, and forward at all the hope for and uncertainty of the next one. It is truly amazing to take stock of the individual moments of life. I hope and trust that this new year will be just as full of them and that I will spend the year striving for perfect living. Not perfect in terms of wins and losses, successes and failures, or rights and wrongs, but perfect in the only way I believe we can achieve it – by living so that, upon looking back, we have no reason for regret. Good luck to all of us for a perfect year!
* The title of this post is borrowed from the famous song from the musical Rent, soon to hit the big screen as a motion picture event. I have seen Rent and I’m not embarrassed to admit, though it will shock some of you, that I did not like it. I felt absolutely no sympathy for the characters who, time after time, make stupid, harmful decisions and then are bummed when things don’t turn out well. They’re like, “Yes, we’re promiscuous and use drugs, but I don’t see why we should have AIDS and trouble finding jobs. I mean really!” No, I mean really.
** In answer to the “Whadja get?” question, I got an iPod. It’s really cool! Now I can take The University of Texas Longhorn Band with me any where I go! Jealous? That’s right, suckerz.
I spent the morning working on a Habitat for Humanity house that is being coordinated by a kid I know on the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah. It was a gorgeous Memphis morning and a fun way to spend part of the day. I worked on the roof. (I would like to apologize now to the soon-to-be owners/inhabiters of the house for any leaks. I was assured that gaps would be filled in with tar during a later stage of roofing.) Later, there was dinner with the family, and then out to a new bar right near my house where I guess I almost got in a fight.
I was sitting, talking to a friend when I noticed (I could partly hear and could wholly lipread) a guy near me – a guy whom I do not know and to whom I have absolutely no connection - speaking ill of me. Then, of course, I had to glance back a couple of times to make sure I was right and that my increased age hadn’t brought with it an acute paranoia. Turns out I was right. He came over to the table and asked me quite indignantly, “Do you have a staring problem?” I indicated that I was not aware of one. Perturbed at my rebuff of his initial hypothesis, he irritably asked, “Are you talking about other people?” Again, I had to politely let him down as I let him know that, in fact, I was not. He then advised me to “Keep to myself,” adding a derisive term that starts with an 'f', ends with a 't', and has an 'aggo' in the middle and walked back to his friends, proud, I’m sure, of a job well done. He was quite the peace keeper. He did, however, check back several times to make sure that I did not eventually succumb to the much feared staring problem. It was very exciting. Next time, I will use my kara-tay (pronounced as Ross Geller would) and whip his sorry ass. No. No, I probably won’t.
In all seriousness, the birthday was a great chance to reflect on the year that has ended and gaze forward at the one now beginning. It’s like Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur - the approaching Jewish holidays that are all about renewal and introspection - had come early for me! I looked back at the joys and upsets, successes and failures, laughs, experiences, friends, changes, efforts, tragedies, surprises, romances, excitements, lessons…of the last year, and forward at all the hope for and uncertainty of the next one. It is truly amazing to take stock of the individual moments of life. I hope and trust that this new year will be just as full of them and that I will spend the year striving for perfect living. Not perfect in terms of wins and losses, successes and failures, or rights and wrongs, but perfect in the only way I believe we can achieve it – by living so that, upon looking back, we have no reason for regret. Good luck to all of us for a perfect year!
* The title of this post is borrowed from the famous song from the musical Rent, soon to hit the big screen as a motion picture event. I have seen Rent and I’m not embarrassed to admit, though it will shock some of you, that I did not like it. I felt absolutely no sympathy for the characters who, time after time, make stupid, harmful decisions and then are bummed when things don’t turn out well. They’re like, “Yes, we’re promiscuous and use drugs, but I don’t see why we should have AIDS and trouble finding jobs. I mean really!” No, I mean really.
** In answer to the “Whadja get?” question, I got an iPod. It’s really cool! Now I can take The University of Texas Longhorn Band with me any where I go! Jealous? That’s right, suckerz.
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