More Medicine and Airplane Law

I forgot to mention the unbelievable array of restrooms that I have the pleasure of using at the many establishments I now frequent on the comedy ciruit. I talk about the diseases I might get from the smoke inhalation, but in truth, I’m far more likely to catch something from one of these sketchy lavatories.

Lavatory. That’s a great word. That’s part of the whole other language they seem to speak on airplanes. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they’re speaking English. It’s just that they’re using words we would never use anywhere else. Like say… um, lavatory! I have this on the brain because I am composing this post in the C concourse of Memphis International Airport, waiting for a delayed flight to Atlanta.

I’m anxiously awaiting the time when we will actually depart, but dreading somewhat the lecture we’re all going to get because of a few bad smokers once we get on the plane. You know what I’m talking about. The harsh tongue lashing the flight attendants always give us about tampering with, disabling or destroying smoke detectors in the aircraft lavatory.

When will the smokers stop?!? It’s the only law they have to remind us of now on airplanes. The rest of us have stopped murdering, raping, stealing cars and evading taxes up there. Why oh why can’t the smokers control themselves?

I call on you smokers: put an end to this madness. Tell your friends, put it in your little newsletter, whatever. Spread the word. They’re on to you. It’s time to move on.