Hollywood Tears Me A New One

Good afternoon, Ziggybackriders! First, allow me to apologize for the somewhat unrefined nature of this post's title. I auditioned for a movie today. The film is called Black Snake Moan. It will star Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci, and Justin Timberlake and will be directed by Craig Brewer, Memphis native and director of Hustle and Flow. It was rough.

You might read that and think, "Oh, Michael must not have done well. That's too bad." No, that's not the case. It's just that the actual audition part of the audition didn't really happen. The waiting outside in 100 degree weather part, however, did. For several hours. Here's the way it went...

9:51 a.m. - I take several pictures of myself in my bathroom, using the mirror to see my camera's lcd screen. Those wishing to audition were asked to bring a snapshot and a pencil.
10:20 - I have gotten my three prints back from the Walgreens photo center. They're all pretty bad. I'm on my way to the audition.
10:45 - I arrived at the Pyramid - the uninhabited arena owned by the people of Memphis and Shelby County - for the audition, scheduled to begin at 11:00 a.m. I find a couple hundred people waiting in line. I am given a sheet on which to record a few facts about myself for the film makers. The sheet indicates that I am wannabe number 333. I begin the patient wait.
11:15 - the first batch (20 or so) of auditioners is taken into the Pyramid. The line moves forward a little bit. At this moment, the building that we are waiting outside of has approximately 21,000 chairs permanently set up inside. My portion of the line is not in the shade.
12:07 p.m. - the line has moved forward enough for me to be within the next 250 auditioners. More importantly, I am now, finally, in the shade for the rest of the line process.
12:45 - still in line. We've moved forward a little. It's still about 100 degrees outside. We're still outside. There are still upwards of 20,000 empty chairs just beyond the unlocked doors in front of which we wait.
1:30 - moving forward. Still about 100-150 people ahead of me. About 200 people after me.
Around this time, Pyramid and movie staff members begin passing out bottled water.
2:00 - saw my high school acting teacher. I look forward to getting inside and finding out just how well she taught me.
2:15 - I'm about 2 groups of auditioners away from being called into the building, finally. All of a sudden, the whole line crumbles and everyone is moving toward the doors. Someone had decided to let us all inside where there were, apparently, a number of chairs available out of the heat. For some reason, they did not move us in the orderly line in which we were already standing. Instead, we gathered (about 450 of us) around two doors through which we were allowed to enter 30 or so at a time.
2:35 - we are seated inside the arena, in no particular order. Production staff calls out 40 or so auditioners to come with them.
2:50 - My group is called! About 40 of us make our way into two lines where they will check our fact sheets to make sure we have everything we need. I wait in line as people who, for some reason, did not bring a picture (or a pencil, I presume) get their pictures taken by production associates. I get to the table. The P.A. is impressed that my sheet is complete and my pic is stapled to it already (I borrowed a stapler from a very prepared woman in the arena). I am sent into the next room with my fellow auditioners to have a seat. There is a table in front of us with several casting professionals. We wonder what the process will be like. I had arrived just over 4 fours ago.
3:00 - A woman introduces herself as the casting director and introduces another woman (named Winsom - cool name) as her co-director. She proceeds to tell us that they will take our fact sheets and photos and call us if they are interested in us for speaking parts, and will hold on to the others and contact people about extras work. She gave us the dates of filming and asked us to give our sheets to a certain guy on the way out.
3:02 - the "audition" is over. They have successfully collected a fact sheet and photo from me. Both had been ready for them for over 4 hours. Every part of the entire process - the line up, the numbers, the waiting, the heat stroke, the waiting, the move into the arena (which, as it turns out, had been sitting there empty the whole time we were waiting outside), the reorganizing by number once in the arena, the groups of 40 or so, and the waiting - was unncessary, save the handing me the fact sheet (which I completed in about a minute and a half) and the collecting of the fact sheet.
6:43 - I am sitting at home writing this post. There are probably still hopefuls waiting to be called into a special room to hand in the sheets they are holding. When I left, the number of auditioners was well over 700. I was 333.

Needless to say, it was fun. I'm excited about the possibility of resuming my movie career (see posts from last summer). I'll keep you posted. Have a nice day!