I like television, and I've been watching a lot of it lately. I find that I'm being bombarded by promotions of new t.v. technologies - the most prominent of which is high definition television, or HDTV. I think maybe we're a little carried away with our ability to make technical progress. I just don't think a lot of it is necessary. Was there something wrong with t.v. that made us need HDTV? We couldn’t see it well enough, apparently? A couple of years ago when HDTV was just being unveiled, I was in New York and went on a tour of the NBC Studios. The guide gets all excited, he says, “Soon, everything we do will be shown in HDTV! You all know about HDTV?” We’re like, “not really.” He gets this excited/crazed look in his eye and he’s like, “well let me explain it to you this way. When you’re watching a baseball game, not only will the action on the field be so much clearer, but you’ll be able to see what a fan in centerfield… is eating!”
Is that what we’ve been missing? I guess so. I guess television will always be a failure until I can personally lay eyes on every hot dog sold at Yankee Stadium. And you know they’ll just keep making advancements. What’s next, Super HDTV? “You can not only see what the fan in centerfield is eating, but you can tell if he likes it!”
And then a few years later, Extra Super HDTV. “You can not only tell if the fan in centerfield likes his pretzel, you can tune back in later and watch him poop it out! You’ll be able to tell what kind of toilet paper he’s using!”
I guess the next thing after that will be Smellevision! Okay, that’s enough. I just grossed myself out a little.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Friday, July 15, 2005
Morning Rituals
Hello there! I hope you are having a great day. I know I am. My day started much like my days usually do - with my favorite morning ritual. I don’t mean the coffee or the shower, or even the Today Show or Good Morning Memphis. I’m talking about deleting all the emails that come during the night. Aren’t those great? Every morning it’s the same. Increase your sex drive! Increase your penis size! Add three inches! Three inches? (now pretend you're me saying this next part really sarcastically) Oooohhhh! Big difference! (Did you get the effect?) I used to laugh at those emails, but now... well, now I just think it’s nice that my old girlfriends keep in touch at all.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Retirement, Glorious Retirement!
Hello there! I just wanted to let you know that it's 12:50 p.m. (central time) and I'm sitting at home in my recliner wearing boxer briefs and a bathrobe. That's right. Boxer briefs. All the comfort of a boxer, all the support of a brief. It's only a matter of time before I put on dress socks and complete the outfit. I'll keep you posted. Have a nice day!
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Letter Day, 1500, and Score One for the Small Thinker
Dear Mom, Dad, and all my Ziggybackriding friends,
Shalom from Jacobs Camp. I am spending a few days helping out at the summer camp that I grew up going to and where I worked full-time as the assistant director after graduating from college. It's really fun to be back, as always. One of the traditions here is "letter day." The kids are required to write home every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, and on those days, staff members remind the campers to write with a letter day skit, the theme of which varies with each camp session. I used to enjoy writing and performing in the letter day skits and before that, when I was a camper, I used to enjoy writing incredibly short letters home. I mean really, what little boy at summer camp wants to have to stop to write a letter? So I used to write things like "Camp is great. Gotta go." As a matter of fact, I apparently wrote "gotta go" so often that my father was concerned for my gastrointestinal health. I was fine. Back then, at least.
A shout out to our visitors... we are quite close to hitting the 1500 visitor mark. Congratulations to us all on continuing our fantastic ride. If you are the lucky 1500th, please let me know using the comment feature below this post.
Back to camp news... we had corn dogs for lunch yesterday. Corn dogs! Has humanity ever had a better idea? In a world filled with mind-blowing inventions and a non-stop craving for progress and innovation, I often find myself in awe of those who brought us some of the small, mundane items in our lives. For instance (back to the corn dogs), if neither already existed, I think I would be far more likely to come up with the idea for the airplane than the corn dog. How did that happen? Of course we want to fly. We see birds. It looks cool. We were bound to figure it out. But a processed meat link encased in fried corn batter? On a stick? Score one for the small thinker! I love the human mind.
Time for swimming.
Love,
Ziggy
Shalom from Jacobs Camp. I am spending a few days helping out at the summer camp that I grew up going to and where I worked full-time as the assistant director after graduating from college. It's really fun to be back, as always. One of the traditions here is "letter day." The kids are required to write home every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, and on those days, staff members remind the campers to write with a letter day skit, the theme of which varies with each camp session. I used to enjoy writing and performing in the letter day skits and before that, when I was a camper, I used to enjoy writing incredibly short letters home. I mean really, what little boy at summer camp wants to have to stop to write a letter? So I used to write things like "Camp is great. Gotta go." As a matter of fact, I apparently wrote "gotta go" so often that my father was concerned for my gastrointestinal health. I was fine. Back then, at least.
A shout out to our visitors... we are quite close to hitting the 1500 visitor mark. Congratulations to us all on continuing our fantastic ride. If you are the lucky 1500th, please let me know using the comment feature below this post.
Back to camp news... we had corn dogs for lunch yesterday. Corn dogs! Has humanity ever had a better idea? In a world filled with mind-blowing inventions and a non-stop craving for progress and innovation, I often find myself in awe of those who brought us some of the small, mundane items in our lives. For instance (back to the corn dogs), if neither already existed, I think I would be far more likely to come up with the idea for the airplane than the corn dog. How did that happen? Of course we want to fly. We see birds. It looks cool. We were bound to figure it out. But a processed meat link encased in fried corn batter? On a stick? Score one for the small thinker! I love the human mind.
Time for swimming.
Love,
Ziggy
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
More Comedy, Self Help, and the Mighty Texas Longhorns
Hi there!
The last stand-up comedy performance went very well and there's another one coming tomorrow night. If you want the info, leave me a comment below and I'll email it. I'm having a lot of fun doing it and I'm hoping to take the show on the road soon. Not a full-blown tour, mind you, but I'm doing some traveling and I'll see who'll let me on a stage in the the various cities I'll be visiting. I'll keep you posted...
Last night, I spent a little time in my neighborhood Borders store. I love looking around in book stores. Reminds me of how little I know. Dammit. But I digress. Last night I found myself browsing in the "self help" section. Have you been in there recently? That's enough to make you think you have some real problems. There are so many books there and all of them can make me be the person I want to be living the life I want to live and wielding the power that resides within me. I thought things were going rather well for me, but now I know... I have a lot of reading to do. I did notice one book entitled The Hip Girl's Handbook. I didn't have time just then to look and see, but I'm sure the first thing any guide to coolness - for boys or girls - will tell you is to hurry to the nearest book store and buy a book about being hip. That's always the first step. Anyone who's already hip'll tell you that right off.
Finally, in College Baseball news (because I know that's what you came for!), my beloved Texas Longhorns take on the Baylor Bears tonight with the chance to earn a berth in the National Championship Series. I'm really pressing my luck here because I mentioned the Longhorns in the tournament last year at this time and they ended up losing. I'm risking the jinx, but I can't resist. I'm very excited.
Hook 'em Horns!
The last stand-up comedy performance went very well and there's another one coming tomorrow night. If you want the info, leave me a comment below and I'll email it. I'm having a lot of fun doing it and I'm hoping to take the show on the road soon. Not a full-blown tour, mind you, but I'm doing some traveling and I'll see who'll let me on a stage in the the various cities I'll be visiting. I'll keep you posted...
Last night, I spent a little time in my neighborhood Borders store. I love looking around in book stores. Reminds me of how little I know. Dammit. But I digress. Last night I found myself browsing in the "self help" section. Have you been in there recently? That's enough to make you think you have some real problems. There are so many books there and all of them can make me be the person I want to be living the life I want to live and wielding the power that resides within me. I thought things were going rather well for me, but now I know... I have a lot of reading to do. I did notice one book entitled The Hip Girl's Handbook. I didn't have time just then to look and see, but I'm sure the first thing any guide to coolness - for boys or girls - will tell you is to hurry to the nearest book store and buy a book about being hip. That's always the first step. Anyone who's already hip'll tell you that right off.
Finally, in College Baseball news (because I know that's what you came for!), my beloved Texas Longhorns take on the Baylor Bears tonight with the chance to earn a berth in the National Championship Series. I'm really pressing my luck here because I mentioned the Longhorns in the tournament last year at this time and they ended up losing. I'm risking the jinx, but I can't resist. I'm very excited.
Hook 'em Horns!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Furniture and Funniness
Why the little armrest covers on nice chairs? You know what I'm talking about? The slipcovers that fit over the armrests? Yeah, you know. First of all, if these are so important, why can't furniture manufacturers take a minute and a half one day and figure out a way to make them stay on? Trying to keep them in place is like working a second job, and it's hard to work while you're watching t.v. That's not my real problem with the armrest covers, though. My real question about these things is doesn't it seem like someone's really missing the mark here?
Allow me to explain...Picture a chair. You have one in mind? Great! There is one part that we occasionally rest our arms on lightly. Then there is another part that we sit on - with our butt and all our body weight... every single time the chair is in use. Which part would you put a protective cover on? Yeah, me too.
As long as we're on furniture, I'm confused about a number of things. The purpose of a headboard is one of those things. I own a headboard, but I don't know why. Well, yes I do. My mom told me I needed one. What is the purpose? To try and convince people that I don't actually sleep near the wall? "No! Look! You can't even see the wall! I sleep all the way over here." The wall was the sturdiest, most useful headboard I'll ever own. I miss it.
And what about occasional tables? Occasional tables? What are they when they're not tables? And how do they know when it's time to be a table again? Unless they can keep the slipcovers on the arms of my chairs for me, I'm going to need them to be tables all the time.
COMEDY TOMORROW
STOP 345 - 9:00 p.m.
345 Madison
I'm gonna be funny and stuff.
Allow me to explain...Picture a chair. You have one in mind? Great! There is one part that we occasionally rest our arms on lightly. Then there is another part that we sit on - with our butt and all our body weight... every single time the chair is in use. Which part would you put a protective cover on? Yeah, me too.
As long as we're on furniture, I'm confused about a number of things. The purpose of a headboard is one of those things. I own a headboard, but I don't know why. Well, yes I do. My mom told me I needed one. What is the purpose? To try and convince people that I don't actually sleep near the wall? "No! Look! You can't even see the wall! I sleep all the way over here." The wall was the sturdiest, most useful headboard I'll ever own. I miss it.
And what about occasional tables? Occasional tables? What are they when they're not tables? And how do they know when it's time to be a table again? Unless they can keep the slipcovers on the arms of my chairs for me, I'm going to need them to be tables all the time.
COMEDY TOMORROW
STOP 345 - 9:00 p.m.
345 Madison
I'm gonna be funny and stuff.
Friday, June 03, 2005
Away Message
Hi there! I'm writing this post from the grounds of the URJ Henry S. Jacobs Camp in Utica, MS, where I am serving as a staff member at Camp Dream Street. Dream Street is a week-long, residential summer camp program for children with disabilities and, well... it is awesome! Check it out at www.dreamstreetms.org.
Once I'm back on the homefront, I'll get back to regular writing and I'll keep you posted about comedy, the last days of my job, the search for a new job, and other momentous happenings in our world. For now, I'll let you know that I have two comedy outings planned in Memphis in the coming weeks. Mark your calendars for Thursday, June 9th, when I'll be appearing at Comedy, Tennessee. The show starts at 8:00 pm at the Holiday Inn East Memphis; and save Friday, June 17th, when I'll be performing at Stop 345/Paddy's Memphis Pub. Both shows are for charity, so come on out. More info soon.
Back to the magic of Dream Street. I'll be back.
Once I'm back on the homefront, I'll get back to regular writing and I'll keep you posted about comedy, the last days of my job, the search for a new job, and other momentous happenings in our world. For now, I'll let you know that I have two comedy outings planned in Memphis in the coming weeks. Mark your calendars for Thursday, June 9th, when I'll be appearing at Comedy, Tennessee. The show starts at 8:00 pm at the Holiday Inn East Memphis; and save Friday, June 17th, when I'll be performing at Stop 345/Paddy's Memphis Pub. Both shows are for charity, so come on out. More info soon.
Back to the magic of Dream Street. I'll be back.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Oh, What Could Have Been!
Yesterday, a stock I own went up almost 18%. 18% in one day! That's unbelievable. When you look and see that that has happened, you begin to think about what could have been. I did decide to buy a little of the stock at one time. What if I had decided to buy more two days ago? What if I had put everything I own into it? Even better, what if I owned a lot more than I do and had put everything I own into it? Boy, that would have been something! One day, baby! One day.
For now, I'm just enjoying knowing that I'm nigh on $50 wealthier than I was before the great TiVO boom of 2005. I'm sure that'll serve me well when I begin my temporary retirement in a few weeks.
In other news, I took a picture of my dinner the other night.
That's right. A picture. Of my dinner. I kid you not. I made stir-fry vegetables and fruit and garnished my plate with fresh fruit. As I was preparing it, I was struck by what a beautiful, colorful, healthy looking dish I had created. About that same time, I noticed my digital camera sitting on the counter within arm's reach. I recorded that glorious culinary moment for posterity. If I remember, I'll try and post the picture on this site for you to see. I believe that if I can do that and you can look at it, we will have achieved an all-time low for the internet (that's saying something!), and by Jove, we'll have done it together!
I don't get out much.
For now, I'm just enjoying knowing that I'm nigh on $50 wealthier than I was before the great TiVO boom of 2005. I'm sure that'll serve me well when I begin my temporary retirement in a few weeks.
In other news, I took a picture of my dinner the other night.
That's right. A picture. Of my dinner. I kid you not. I made stir-fry vegetables and fruit and garnished my plate with fresh fruit. As I was preparing it, I was struck by what a beautiful, colorful, healthy looking dish I had created. About that same time, I noticed my digital camera sitting on the counter within arm's reach. I recorded that glorious culinary moment for posterity. If I remember, I'll try and post the picture on this site for you to see. I believe that if I can do that and you can look at it, we will have achieved an all-time low for the internet (that's saying something!), and by Jove, we'll have done it together!
I don't get out much.
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