Furniture and Funniness

Why the little armrest covers on nice chairs? You know what I'm talking about? The slipcovers that fit over the armrests? Yeah, you know. First of all, if these are so important, why can't furniture manufacturers take a minute and a half one day and figure out a way to make them stay on? Trying to keep them in place is like working a second job, and it's hard to work while you're watching t.v. That's not my real problem with the armrest covers, though. My real question about these things is doesn't it seem like someone's really missing the mark here?

Allow me to explain...Picture a chair. You have one in mind? Great! There is one part that we occasionally rest our arms on lightly. Then there is another part that we sit on - with our butt and all our body weight... every single time the chair is in use. Which part would you put a protective cover on? Yeah, me too.

As long as we're on furniture, I'm confused about a number of things. The purpose of a headboard is one of those things. I own a headboard, but I don't know why. Well, yes I do. My mom told me I needed one. What is the purpose? To try and convince people that I don't actually sleep near the wall? "No! Look! You can't even see the wall! I sleep all the way over here." The wall was the sturdiest, most useful headboard I'll ever own. I miss it.

And what about occasional tables? Occasional tables? What are they when they're not tables? And how do they know when it's time to be a table again? Unless they can keep the slipcovers on the arms of my chairs for me, I'm going to need them to be tables all the time.

COMEDY TOMORROW
STOP 345 - 9:00 p.m.
345 Madison
I'm gonna be funny and stuff.