Ate Mor Chikin

There is a lot that I have to tell you, including my weekend trip to a team-building and leadership development center in Arkansas and including the fact that I am now the proud owner of a wet/dry shopvac, a new hot water heater, and some smelly carpet (the three items I own are, indeed, related and the battle between me and the carpet for the smell of my home is on. It will be an epic battle. I must win. Or else must will win.)

Those things, while incredibly interesting, are not what this post is about, though. This post is about the following:

That's right, ZiggyBackRiders, I have just returned home from all-you-can-eat nugget night at Chick-fil-A. My good friend, Kevin, and I had been seeing it advertised for this very night on the restaurant's marquee for the last couple of weeks. We thought, first to ourselves, and then aloud to one another, "Should we?"

Ignoring the obvious, correct answer to that question, we did. $10 was the cost* for all the nuggets, fries, and drink you wished to enjoy. A number of people took advantage of the "deal" - this was the first time I've ever had trouble finding parking at a Chick-fil-A.

The system was simple. You start with a 12 pack and a punchcard. The card has a 12, an 8, a 6, and five 4's on it. The 12 is punched when you take your first batch to the table. When you are ready for more, bring the card up, they punch the 8 and give you an 8 pack. Then the 6, then the 4's. The card system (left) takes you through nuggets 1-46. You don't have to stop at 46, though, as it is truly all you can eat (there was a kid next to us that was at 70 when we left - his table created the stack of boxes pictured above, left), but in the end, Kevin and I decided that 46 was a good** place to stop.

(Left: Kevin and I pose with our punched cards and our garbage. I appear sweaty, but that's just chicken coming out of my pores.

Right: My friend, Lauren, was also there - not so much eating, but supporting her friends, one of whom, the 70-eater, is pictured below.)

Now, this is all funny and tasty, but the Health and Science staff here at ZiggyBackRide wishes to convey that this is not healthy behavior. It is certainly not okay to engage in such activities on a regular basis and is probably not okay to ever eat in this way. If you must, be sure you aware of what you are putting in your body.

http://www.calorie-count.com/calories/item/110300.html

I carefully squeezed excess grease off each nugget, so I figure I saved a few grams of fat here and there. Not bad, eh? That's why I felt it was okay to skip the diet drink and go with Coca-Cola, or, as I like to call it, America in Liquid Form.

As I left the restaurant, I headed home and immediately began calling friends that would want to know about this adventure. I knew, all along, that it was messed up to do this, but I believe it might be even more ridiculous that friends from coast-to-coast would be excited to know. I didn't have long to talk to people, though...

(Left: Me in the bathroom.***)

* The cost was actually $10 plus tax plus several years off our lives.

** All the better places to stop had already been passed up. 46 was, at that point, as good as it could get.
*** This is the first time I've ever taken a picture of myself on the toilet. You'd think it'll be the last, too, but I simply can not promise that. It's all about honesty, folks.)

One Fine Day

Real Estate Q & A with Real Estate Mogul-in-Training, Michael "Ziggy" Danziger:

Q: How many property showings did you have scheduled today?
A: Three

Q: Not bad. How many did you go to?
A: Three

Q: Good. Just making sure! How much driving did you do to today get to and from these appointments?
A: I drove 73 miles.

Q: Wow! You know that's a rate of almost 27,000 miles a year? Is that normal?
A: It happens. That's a pretty heavy day of driving though. Two of these appointments were almost 30 miles away from my office.

Q: I see. Very interesting. And how much time did you spend traveling to and from, and being at these showing appointments?
A: Two hours and forty-seven minutes, plus a few minutes at the office preparing for each.

Q: That's a lot of the day, huh?
A: It was, indeed.

Q: Now, how many of these appointments did you solicit?
A: None of them. The meetings, and the times for which they were scheduled, were all requested by the other parties.

Q: And did they all show up?
A: No.

Q: You mean one of them didn't come to a meeting that they asked for?
A: I wish that's what I meant!

Q: What do you mean?
A: None of them came to the meetings that they asked for.

Q: None of them showed up?
A: Not a one.

Q: Is that normal?
A: More normal than you would think. Unless you think that a lot of people have very little consideration for other people's time and effort. Or unless you think that a lot of people really don't know how to use calendars. Or unless you don't think. Ever.

WHAT???

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/nfl/08/22/bc.fbn.vick.naacp.ap/index.html

I particularly like the last two lines of the story.

Why on earth would the NAACP be involved in this and why would they allow for the appearance of defending Michael Vick. The idea that this is some kind of racial issue is held by a number of insane sports talk radio callers and by several ridiculously stupid sounding athletes that have gotten on the air in Vick's defense, but I would think that the NAACP would be able to exercise better judgment.

Mr. White (and I do find it humorous that that is his name - makes me think of the old SNL video in which Eddie Murphy plays a white man and tries to get a loan under that assumed name), his crime is not that the dog was a dog. Dogs are dogs every day and people don't get indicted for it. Perhaps there's more to this story than "it was a dog." That's like saying a bank robber's crime is that the building was a bank. Jackass.

Super Funny. Super True?

I saw Superbad last night. I wasn't sure what to expect - clever hilarity in keeping with the highly enjoyable Knocked Up, or a super stupid quick follow-up to a hit. I'm pleased to report that I found it to be the former. Well, clever might be a bit of a stretch - I feel safe predicting that this will not be nominated for Best Picture - but hilarity is right on.

I laughed hard and out loud several times during the movie and I have done the same today as different lines and images have come back to me. This is a movie that will produce some popular catchphrases and that will be widely quoted by funny movie quoters.

Lest you think, though, - as previews and previous work by the key players would suggest - that this is simply a feature-length collection of immature references, gags, and gross-outs*, I am delighted to let you know that the movie even got across a decent message (in its own demented, but hilarious way). Anyone who is looking for meaning in this movie should probably go to a different movie, but insistent upon seeing this one, the searcher will find the case made that genuineness** and not gamesmanship is often the best way to build friendships and romances. We tend to come up with a lot of different tricks and tools for connecting with other people and winning them over when, in many cases, "just be yourself" and "honesty is the best policy"*** would save us time and embarrassment, and would make us more trusting and trustworthy.

Good work, Superbad!

* Just to be clear, it definitely was all of those things, but it was not ONLY those things.

** genuinity? Is there a form of genuine that describes the state of being genuine?

*** The staff here at ZiggyBackRide wishes to point out that cliches become cliches for a reason. They are said over and over again because they are found to be true over and over again. They should not, as they often are, be disregarded simply because they are cliche. If anything, they should usually be given extra heed.

Numbers Game

In my Jewish men's league basketball career, I have won
1 championship, unfortunately it was not
1 day ago. Instead, I lost my
3rd or
4th, I can’t remember. I scored
10 points, I think, but I needed to score
More. In other news, as of this writing, this site has had
13,015 visitors. We passed the
13,000 mark! Very exciting! My sincere thanks go out to the regular readers, all
7 of you, and to our periodic visitors, any of whom may eventually visit more than
Once in a while. We are nearing another ZiggyBackRide milestone. We’re almost at
200 posts! Who can forget the exciting ZiggyBackRide Centennial Celebration that accompanied number
100, well, actually number
101. We’ll celebrate again at
202.
101 is a ZiggyBackRide
Hundred, our clever version of a baker’s
Dozen. The excitement is beginning to build! Be ready!

P.S. on P.R.

I completely left out an important Phil Rizzuto connection to my world. Phil is the baseball announcer in the MeatLoaf song, "Paradise By the Dashboard Light." In the song, a very enjoyable one, Rizzuto does play-by-play on a baseball player rounding the bases - metaphor for sex. After the song's release, Rizzuto evidently claimed that he did not know his involvement would be connected to such lewdness, saying "I would do anything for Loaf, but I won't do that."

Rirruto? Those are Z's.

Legendary New York Yankees player and broadcaster, Phil Rizzuto, has died today. At 89, Rizzuto was the oldest living member of the Baseball Hall of Fame, to which he was inducted as a player, though he is, perhaps, now more well-known as a voice of the Yankees for 40 years.

As a player, Rizzuto spent 13 seasons with the Yanks, winning 7 world titles and the 1950 American League MVP. He was a five-time all-star.

I write about Phil Rizzuto not only because he was among the most prominent names and personalities in sports, but because of all the ways that, though we never met and I don't really know all that much about him, he has been part of my life.

1) The Yankees are, have always been, and likely shall always be my favorite baseball team. The "pinstripers" have no shortage of great baseball names in their history, but Rizzuto will always stand out for his excellent play, his excellent play-by-play, his commitment to the franchise, and his exceedingly long tenure therewith.

2) Rizzuto has appeared in/been referenced in two of my favorite modern comedy presentations. In Billy Madison, his name is given to Billy as a cursive practice word in Ms. Vaughn's 3rd grade class (the title of this post comes from this scene). I have always thought this scene is hilarious and has a very genuine feel to it. I never had to write Rizzuto on the blackboard, but I remember well the feeling of being stuck in front of the class and trying to come up with something that will work. Good filmmaking and funny, funny stuff.

Rizzuto also found his way into a Seinfeld episode when George accidentally drops his Phil Rizzuto keyring (which says Phil's catch phrase, "Holy Cow!") into a pothole that gets paved over.

3) My basketball team shocked the 30 and over Jewish basketball world last night, beating the #1 seed and prohibitive favorite to win the championship in a thrilling overtime battle. We will play for the championship next Monday! I realize this has very little to do with our friend Rirruto, but I would sure love to have heard his call when I airballed my 2nd freethrow in recent weeks. I've lost my way from the stripe. I'm like the new, old Rick Ankiel.

Bingo Anyone?

I keep a disorganized house. It is messy. No matter how much of it I throw away, there is mail everywhere. No matter how much I wash and put away, there is laundry everywhere. I am convinced that those two things are reproducing in my home, something with which I take issue (If they're going to live under my roof, they should live by my rules).

People offer me suggestions about how to get the house in order. Often, they suggest that a wife might be helpful. Perhaps they are right. I am hesitant to go with a solution, though, just because it is the only one suggested, so I decided to look into some other options. I believe I have found one that just might work...

I think I am going to move into one of these assisted living facilities you see everywhere. As the baby boomer generation ages, there are more and more of these lovely centers around. I believe that what they have to offer really meets a lot of my needs. I mean, what's not to like? Older people are nice and they seem to like me. There are nice apartments. They have staff that does stuff for you.

"Here's your mail, Mr. Danziger." See? Now, that's helpful.

"It's dinner time, Mr. Danziger." Helpful AND potentially tasty.

"We're here to change your diaper, Mr. Danziger." Exceedingly helpful... in case I decide to become a crazy astronaut. Or a sumo wrestler.

Unrelated Tidbits of Varying Importance

TIDBIT #1 Monday night marked the final regular season game for my 30 and over basketball team at the JCC. I had a decent game, but as a team, we were very, very bad. We'll have to get it together for tournament time. Memorable moment of the game: I airballed a free throw. AIRBALLED! A FREE TRHOW! I don't think I had done that since I was about 8 years old. It was good to be back.

TIDBIT #2 Steven A. Smith is an idiot. He is a sports commentator and I don't enjoy listening to him. I think his style is a rip-off of Chris Rock - or vice-versa, but I certainly knew who Chris Rock is first - and I think his takes are often dumb, wrong, and/or designed only to be argumentative or controversial. I don't know why he keeps getting more and more air time on tv and radio.*

* I didn't like Jim Rome at first, and now I'm a fan, so never say never, but it's not looking good for Smith.

TIDBIT #3 Tennessee is having a state sales tax holiday this weekend for back-to-school type items, including certain clothing and school supplies up to $100 and computers costing $1500 or less. The "holiday" lasts from 12:01 am Friday until 11:59 pm Sunday. More information on exempt items can be found at http://www.tntaxholiday.com/. Happy shopping and remember, if you are only buying stuff in order to help the state out, this weekend is not the time to shop.

TIDBIT #4 I walked outside of my condo the other day and saw this:

It just struck me as something you don't see everyday. I mean, it's a normal neighborhood. Most of my neighbors keep their swords with them at all times, rather than stowing them in the shrubbery.

I probably should have tried to pull the sword from the bush. It may have been the only way to prove that I am the rightful future king of the condo association.