I keep a disorganized house. It is messy. No matter how much of it I throw away, there is mail everywhere. No matter how much I wash and put away, there is laundry everywhere. I am convinced that those two things are reproducing in my home, something with which I take issue (If they're going to live under my roof, they should live by my rules).
People offer me suggestions about how to get the house in order. Often, they suggest that a wife might be helpful. Perhaps they are right. I am hesitant to go with a solution, though, just because it is the only one suggested, so I decided to look into some other options. I believe I have found one that just might work...
I think I am going to move into one of these assisted living facilities you see everywhere. As the baby boomer generation ages, there are more and more of these lovely centers around. I believe that what they have to offer really meets a lot of my needs. I mean, what's not to like? Older people are nice and they seem to like me. There are nice apartments. They have staff that does stuff for you.
"Here's your mail, Mr. Danziger." See? Now, that's helpful.
"It's dinner time, Mr. Danziger." Helpful AND potentially tasty.
"We're here to change your diaper, Mr. Danziger." Exceedingly helpful... in case I decide to become a crazy astronaut. Or a sumo wrestler.
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3 comments:
My friend, it's a slippery slope. First they have you believing rice pudding is an acceptable dinner choice. Next thing you know you're car keys have been hidden away forever...
Hmmm...good idea. I wish I thought of it a few years ago... I hope my material takes you far...I still haven't seen you on Last Comic Standing.
For some reason, that sounds... creepy. (I think you had me until the diaper part.)
p.s. your link to my blog is the old one which is defunct... new one is at www.bethweek.blogspot.com :)
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