Big day! I wore a shoe on my right foot for the first time in four weeks. Not for long, but still... what a feeling! I put the shoe on in order to ride an exercise bike - basically my first workout in four weeks. Yikes. I have gone quite soft. Soon, though, I will put a shoe back on and I will work out again. It's rather an elegant little plan I've put together, isn't it?
Earlier today, I met my parents and my nieces and nephew at an ice cream store for a few minutes to say hi. I sat in chocolate. It melted on my pants. The part of my pants that was directly over... well... the part of my posterior. Bulls-eye.
I don't know if you can envision this, but chocolate on your butt could, could look like... well... poop. That's no good. I was not far from home and figured I would go home and change pants. It was, however, nearing the end of the business day and I wouldn't need to be making many more public appearances in those pants. What a shame it would be, I thought, to have to go put on a whole new pair for just another hour or so of work. But people will think I have... well... poop on my pants, I pointed out to myself. And then it hit me...
Why on earth would anyone think I had... well... poop on my pants? Is there really any chance at all that I would have soiled myself, then thought, "No big deal! So there's... well... poop on my pants. That won't bother anyone. Not even me. I'll just work through it."
So I learned today that not only should we not assume that a brown stain on the rear indicates that its owner has... well... pooped on him or herself, but that if a person is walking around with such a stain, that is probably the most certain you could ever be that they have absolutely not... well... pooped.
You see? It's the clean-pantsed people we should worry about.
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