What do you get when you mix Red Bull and the world's oldest monotheistic religious tradition? Give up? Kabbalah Energy Drink. I saw it today in a drugstore in New York. I don't believe any further commentary is necessary.
Speaking of New York, it was snowing here this morning. My first snow of the season. Lovely. Coming in a close second to lovely? Cold. Not cold enough to accumulate, though, which is good because I leave for Israel in the morning and I don't want trouble getting to the airport or taking off. I just want to get to the Holy Land, a land which flows with milk and honey, but not - I'm willing to bet - Kabbalah Energy Drink.
This will likely be my final post of 2005. It has been quite a year! The birth of a stand-up comedy "career," a new Pope, plenty of great quotes from the President, tragic storms with moving aftermath, a fantastic season by the Texas Longhorn football team (the baseball team also won the College World Series - worth mentioning!) that will continue and, hopefully, end with a championship on January 4th, fun, friends, lasting memories, and treasured readers of the Ziggybackride. To you, I say thank you and happy new year! Join me again when I return from Israel for what promises to be our best year yet.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Monday, December 26, 2005
Apples and Honey
Once again, I find myself writing to you from the C Concourse of Memphis International Airport. I am sitting, enjoying the public safety announcements (I aspire to be the airport announcement voice one day, now that TEX – the Telephone Enrollment eXchange of The University of Texas at Austin – no longer exists), waiting for my flight to the Big Apple, where I will be for the next several days until I leave for the Land of Milk and Honey (Israel). I’m sorry it has been so long, but I have been busy with trip preparations, holiday celebrations, and magical incantations. Okay, the last one’s not true, but I felt a third rhyming member of the list was called for.
I hope your Christmas/Hannukah/Kwaanza/lack of holiday is/was great/non-existant. How’s that for holiday greetings! Of course those who have been boycotting and protesting retailers that do not use the word “Christmas” enough would not approve. I don’t get that. I understand that religious people want their holiday to be as meaningful as possible, but is granting that wish really up to Wal-Mart? Is Target America’s new church? If so, I think the “old” churches will be rather shocked and dismayed to hear it!
In my mind, those who hold America’s retailers responsible for the holiness of Christmas are very much like those supporters of Israel who seem to be holding Steven Spielberg and his new movie, Munich, completely responsible for Israel’s national well-being and the way it is viewed by the world. I saw the movie. It is good and (not sure if I mentioned this) it is a movie. I love Israel and can’t wait to get there, but if it is depending on Hollywood to serve as its Department of State, something has gone terribly awry.
Okay, I think that’s it from here. I’m going back to the public safety announcements (that guy is so cool!), but I think I’m going to skip the early morning barbecue that I’ve enjoyed here before long trips in the past. All the more reason I shall be excited to return.
I hope your Christmas/Hannukah/Kwaanza/lack of holiday is/was great/non-existant. How’s that for holiday greetings! Of course those who have been boycotting and protesting retailers that do not use the word “Christmas” enough would not approve. I don’t get that. I understand that religious people want their holiday to be as meaningful as possible, but is granting that wish really up to Wal-Mart? Is Target America’s new church? If so, I think the “old” churches will be rather shocked and dismayed to hear it!
In my mind, those who hold America’s retailers responsible for the holiness of Christmas are very much like those supporters of Israel who seem to be holding Steven Spielberg and his new movie, Munich, completely responsible for Israel’s national well-being and the way it is viewed by the world. I saw the movie. It is good and (not sure if I mentioned this) it is a movie. I love Israel and can’t wait to get there, but if it is depending on Hollywood to serve as its Department of State, something has gone terribly awry.
Okay, I think that’s it from here. I’m going back to the public safety announcements (that guy is so cool!), but I think I’m going to skip the early morning barbecue that I’ve enjoyed here before long trips in the past. All the more reason I shall be excited to return.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Horns vs. Holy Land (or Roses vs. Moses, if you prefer)
I'm going to Israel. For free!
That's great, right? Yes, it is great. HOWEVER...
It means I'll be there when my beloved Texas Longhorns play for the football national championship in the Rose Bowl. (Those who are not football fans can stop reading here. You will not respect the dilemma that is explained below.) When I got the invitation to staff this Israel tour for college students I was excited, but when they told me the dates of it, I was hesitant, as it would mean missing the Rose Bowl, a game about which I have dreamed for a long time. As I considered the options, though, a free pilgrimage to the Holy Land was surely the obvious choice (plus I was assured by friends who'd made similar trips that I could catch the game in the middle of the night on ESPN Europe over there) so I accepted.
The only problem would be if, somehow, my trip wasn't in a city where I could easily get to a tv in the middle of the night on the day of the game. I just got my itinerary. 7 of the 9 nights of the trip will be spent in hotels in and around Jerusalem and Tel Aviv- major cities for those unfamiliar with Israel - so it's looking good. So, where will I be the night of January 4th, the night the Texas Longhorns battle for their desired and deserved place in college football history? Spending the night in... wait, what's this? A Bedouin camp near the desert town of Arad? Oh, my dear Lord. I'm no expert on Bedouin camps, but... NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I've got to go figure out how to see this game. Good bye and good luck, and, of course, Hook 'em!
That's great, right? Yes, it is great. HOWEVER...
It means I'll be there when my beloved Texas Longhorns play for the football national championship in the Rose Bowl. (Those who are not football fans can stop reading here. You will not respect the dilemma that is explained below.) When I got the invitation to staff this Israel tour for college students I was excited, but when they told me the dates of it, I was hesitant, as it would mean missing the Rose Bowl, a game about which I have dreamed for a long time. As I considered the options, though, a free pilgrimage to the Holy Land was surely the obvious choice (plus I was assured by friends who'd made similar trips that I could catch the game in the middle of the night on ESPN Europe over there) so I accepted.
The only problem would be if, somehow, my trip wasn't in a city where I could easily get to a tv in the middle of the night on the day of the game. I just got my itinerary. 7 of the 9 nights of the trip will be spent in hotels in and around Jerusalem and Tel Aviv- major cities for those unfamiliar with Israel - so it's looking good. So, where will I be the night of January 4th, the night the Texas Longhorns battle for their desired and deserved place in college football history? Spending the night in... wait, what's this? A Bedouin camp near the desert town of Arad? Oh, my dear Lord. I'm no expert on Bedouin camps, but... NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I've got to go figure out how to see this game. Good bye and good luck, and, of course, Hook 'em!
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Bombs Away!
It happened. Ohhhh, did it happen!
I just got home from a comedy performance at the South Street Comedy Club in Jackson, TN. Actually, I just got home from watching a video of my performance earlier in the night at a fellow comedian's house before calling it a night. I can't possibly call it a night too soon.
When conversation turns to my stand-up comedy, people always ask me if I've ever bombed and, while I've certainly given some performances that have been worse than others, I've always been able to honestly answer "no." That, my friends, is no longer the case! Tonight, I bombed, and I did so in grand fashion. There was actual silence after jokes in a very full club (maybe 150 ppl). It was a sad, yet hilarious experience that actually had me wondering afterward whether I had, at any point during my set, been speaking a language other than English, which would have been a fine explanation for the lack of response to a great many things - which regularly elicit hearty laughs - that I said.
Why, oh why did you bomb, Michael? Bad audience? No. They were great. They laughed their asses off the rest of the night. Bad jokes? I don't think so. They have all gone over very successfully at other clubs on other nights. So? I really don't know, but as I mentioned, I just watched the video (which indicated quite clearly that I spoke only English the whole time) and it's failure in its most splendid form. It will make a fine story when I'm famous. Oh, and it will make a fine story tomorrow, too.
In other, related news, my friends who performed were great tonight! It was really fun to watch. Have a good night!
I just got home from a comedy performance at the South Street Comedy Club in Jackson, TN. Actually, I just got home from watching a video of my performance earlier in the night at a fellow comedian's house before calling it a night. I can't possibly call it a night too soon.
When conversation turns to my stand-up comedy, people always ask me if I've ever bombed and, while I've certainly given some performances that have been worse than others, I've always been able to honestly answer "no." That, my friends, is no longer the case! Tonight, I bombed, and I did so in grand fashion. There was actual silence after jokes in a very full club (maybe 150 ppl). It was a sad, yet hilarious experience that actually had me wondering afterward whether I had, at any point during my set, been speaking a language other than English, which would have been a fine explanation for the lack of response to a great many things - which regularly elicit hearty laughs - that I said.
Why, oh why did you bomb, Michael? Bad audience? No. They were great. They laughed their asses off the rest of the night. Bad jokes? I don't think so. They have all gone over very successfully at other clubs on other nights. So? I really don't know, but as I mentioned, I just watched the video (which indicated quite clearly that I spoke only English the whole time) and it's failure in its most splendid form. It will make a fine story when I'm famous. Oh, and it will make a fine story tomorrow, too.
In other, related news, my friends who performed were great tonight! It was really fun to watch. Have a good night!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
It Burns, Burns, Burns!
It occurs to me that I never reported on Walk The Line and, more specifically, whether I could be seen in it. The short answer is "no." The long answer is "yes, sort of, if you know what you're looking for and exactly when to look for it, assuming you count your silhouette as an appearance."
The moment in which you might have been able to see my face (and my hands pouring Schlitz malt liquor into it) didn't pan out. More specifically, the cameral panned down. It's as though I never sat backstage and pretended to be a roadie drinking a beer several times over on a cool Memphis night. But we know better, don't we?
In the scene that was more exciting to film, but less likely to show me, you can see my form come into the picture and block Reese Witherspoon's form. Here's the roadmap...
One hour and eleven minutes after the words "Walk The Line" appear on screen at the beginning of the movie, Witherspoon's character finishes singing a song on stage and says something like this: "I'm glad you liked that. That was my mama's favorite song, too. Alright now everybody, sit down, squat down, or lie down, just make sure you get comfortable because here is the one and only Johnny Cash!" At that moment, the camera shot we see is from the back of the stage as Johnny walks out. At the same time, June walks away from the mic to the right and a shadowy figure moves in from the right blocking her. That's me taking her autoharp and finger picks from her! I would say I'm more of a supporting actor.
I wouldn't go see it just for my big scene (I'll happily reenact it for you in person), but it is a very good movie and I recommend it.
The moment in which you might have been able to see my face (and my hands pouring Schlitz malt liquor into it) didn't pan out. More specifically, the cameral panned down. It's as though I never sat backstage and pretended to be a roadie drinking a beer several times over on a cool Memphis night. But we know better, don't we?
In the scene that was more exciting to film, but less likely to show me, you can see my form come into the picture and block Reese Witherspoon's form. Here's the roadmap...
One hour and eleven minutes after the words "Walk The Line" appear on screen at the beginning of the movie, Witherspoon's character finishes singing a song on stage and says something like this: "I'm glad you liked that. That was my mama's favorite song, too. Alright now everybody, sit down, squat down, or lie down, just make sure you get comfortable because here is the one and only Johnny Cash!" At that moment, the camera shot we see is from the back of the stage as Johnny walks out. At the same time, June walks away from the mic to the right and a shadowy figure moves in from the right blocking her. That's me taking her autoharp and finger picks from her! I would say I'm more of a supporting actor.
I wouldn't go see it just for my big scene (I'll happily reenact it for you in person), but it is a very good movie and I recommend it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
