A lump of dirt? A LUMP OF DIRT?!?*
*This refers to Detroit Tigers pitcher Kenny Rogers' explanation for the foreign substance on his hand in the 1st inning of Game 2 of the World Series last night. It didn't look like it was dirt. Also, Kenny had the same "dirt" on his hands when he pitched against the Yankees in the ALDS and against the A's in the ALCS. Kenny should look into washing his hands more often.
As for whether this is cheating: the short answer... probably. The longer answer... pppprrrooobbbaaabbblllyy. This may be common practice, but there is some lying going on ("it was a lump of dirt," among others, like the claim that the umpires didn't say anything to him about it) and that makes it all stink. It's slightly comforting that once the dirt (or pine tar, for short) was removed, he still pitched very well. But only slightly.
Hey baseball players, ummm... STOP CHEATING!!!
Monday, October 23, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
My Stitions ARE Super!
I have written many times about the various measures I take to ensure victory for the Texas Longhorn football team. I do it for other teams, too. During the 2000 playoffs, I began watching Yankees post-season games with a blue "victory" candle burning. That was such a success, I now have a burnt orange candle that often burns during Texas games (and gives off a delightful pumpkin pie scent!).
Faithful Ziggybackriders may find this hard to believe, but sometimes I question the effectiveness (but never the sanity) and necessity of these little traditions of mine. I wonder whether orange foods consumed by a Texas fan in Germantown, Tennessee really help the Horns. Sometimes I think, "maybe this is all a little bit silly."
Never again.
College football fans certainly know about yesterday's Texas-Nebraska game - a key win for Texas. What they don't know is that I (and also maybe Greg Davis, the UT offensive coordinator) almost ruined it.
When the game began, I was watching at home: Longhorn Band playing in iTunes, pumpkin pie candle blazing, football in hand, Diet Sunkist soda and Reduced Fat Cheez-its available close by. It was off to a good start. By halftime, the 'Horns were leading and appeared to be in control of things. A friend called and invited me over to watch the 2nd half and have lunch. I accepted. I extinguished the candle, put down the ball, grabbed some Diet Rite tangerine soda for the road (I didn't want to be overly confident), and left.
In the second half, Nebraska crept back into the game. It was getting dicey. I began to think, "maybe I should go back home. Maybe coming over here wasn't such a good idea." But then I thought the better of it, "Naaahh. We're going to be fine. I've done my job."
As the fourth quarter progressed, though, and as the cold Nebraska snow began to fall, the Cornhuskers took the lead, leaving the Texas empire with little time to strike back. Now I was really wishing I were back home, doing everything I could, but didn't want to miss any of the action. Texas failed to convert a first down and had to punt the ball away. Now Nebraska could try to run out the clock and put the game away. I had had enough.
I grabbed my belongings (cell phone, keys, one extra can of the tangerine stuff), ran out to my car, jumped in, and drove quickly (and maybe a little recklessly, but luckily wrecklessly) home. I rushed into my house, turned on the tv, lit the candle, picked up the football, and within 10 seconds, the Texas defense had caused a fumble and recovered it, giving the 'Horns another shot.
Freshman quarterback Colt McCoy promptly led the team down the field, into position for a field goal attempt, which was successful, giving Texas the victory. I almost blew it. Thankfully, I was able to get back to the fundamentals and do the things that have gotten us this far. My apologies to Longhorn faithful for the scare.
Faithful Ziggybackriders may find this hard to believe, but sometimes I question the effectiveness (but never the sanity) and necessity of these little traditions of mine. I wonder whether orange foods consumed by a Texas fan in Germantown, Tennessee really help the Horns. Sometimes I think, "maybe this is all a little bit silly."
Never again.
College football fans certainly know about yesterday's Texas-Nebraska game - a key win for Texas. What they don't know is that I (and also maybe Greg Davis, the UT offensive coordinator) almost ruined it.
When the game began, I was watching at home: Longhorn Band playing in iTunes, pumpkin pie candle blazing, football in hand, Diet Sunkist soda and Reduced Fat Cheez-its available close by. It was off to a good start. By halftime, the 'Horns were leading and appeared to be in control of things. A friend called and invited me over to watch the 2nd half and have lunch. I accepted. I extinguished the candle, put down the ball, grabbed some Diet Rite tangerine soda for the road (I didn't want to be overly confident), and left.
In the second half, Nebraska crept back into the game. It was getting dicey. I began to think, "maybe I should go back home. Maybe coming over here wasn't such a good idea." But then I thought the better of it, "Naaahh. We're going to be fine. I've done my job."
As the fourth quarter progressed, though, and as the cold Nebraska snow began to fall, the Cornhuskers took the lead, leaving the Texas empire with little time to strike back. Now I was really wishing I were back home, doing everything I could, but didn't want to miss any of the action. Texas failed to convert a first down and had to punt the ball away. Now Nebraska could try to run out the clock and put the game away. I had had enough.
I grabbed my belongings (cell phone, keys, one extra can of the tangerine stuff), ran out to my car, jumped in, and drove quickly (and maybe a little recklessly, but luckily wrecklessly) home. I rushed into my house, turned on the tv, lit the candle, picked up the football, and within 10 seconds, the Texas defense had caused a fumble and recovered it, giving the 'Horns another shot.
Freshman quarterback Colt McCoy promptly led the team down the field, into position for a field goal attempt, which was successful, giving Texas the victory. I almost blew it. Thankfully, I was able to get back to the fundamentals and do the things that have gotten us this far. My apologies to Longhorn faithful for the scare.
Friday, October 20, 2006
The Importance of Believing in Overacting
On June 11, 2004, I posted an entry on this very blog entitled "The Importance of Being a Movie Star." That little stop on this exciting ride was dedicated to the beginning of filming of a feature-length independent film entitled "The Importance of Being Russell" that I was in. In that post, I expressed some doubt as to whether that picture would ever make it to screen.
I should have believed then. I do now.
Last night at the Muvico 22 at Peabody Place, Memphis' bustling downtown entertainment development, I saw it. On a big screen. In a real theater. Where you had to buy a ticket and everything.
I was in the movie for about five seconds or so during a climactic scene. I can be clearly seen, clearly overacting. It's very funny. Like the video of my laughless comedy performance at the South Street Comedy Club in Jackson, TN, this will make a hilarious clip to watch on talk shows when I'm ultra-famous, which I'm sure will be ultra-soon.
All in all, the movie - a joint project of Paradox Productions and Pickle TV - was well done and very entertaining. Hopefully, I'll be able to get my hands on a copy of it soon. Ultra-soon. For now, though, you can find out all about the movie, see production photos, and even watch a trailer at www.russellmovie.com.
I should have believed then. I do now.
Last night at the Muvico 22 at Peabody Place, Memphis' bustling downtown entertainment development, I saw it. On a big screen. In a real theater. Where you had to buy a ticket and everything.
I was in the movie for about five seconds or so during a climactic scene. I can be clearly seen, clearly overacting. It's very funny. Like the video of my laughless comedy performance at the South Street Comedy Club in Jackson, TN, this will make a hilarious clip to watch on talk shows when I'm ultra-famous, which I'm sure will be ultra-soon.
All in all, the movie - a joint project of Paradox Productions and Pickle TV - was well done and very entertaining. Hopefully, I'll be able to get my hands on a copy of it soon. Ultra-soon. For now, though, you can find out all about the movie, see production photos, and even watch a trailer at www.russellmovie.com.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
If You Want A Little Zing In Your Zang Zang...
... watch TBS tonight at 7 eastern/6 central for the greatest television sandwich (pronounced sammich) ever.
All Times CST (because Eastern time is just no damn good for t.v.):
6:00 p.m. - College Football: Baylor at Texas
9:30 p.m. - "Tommy Boy" starring Chris Farley and David Spade
11:30 p.m. - College Football: Baylor at Texas (previously recorded)
2:45 a.m. - Interstitial Programming (I don't know what this is, but it's got to be good in this line-up!)
Hats off to the fine folks at the Turner family of networks for this brilliant piece of scheduling! Much, much better than the scheduling troubles I encountered last Saturday (see post).
The title of this post comes from the deep and meaningful lyrics of the College Gameday theme song, performed by your favorite artists and mine, Big and Rich with Cowboy Troy. How this song escaped Grammy-level recognition, I will never know.
All Times CST (because Eastern time is just no damn good for t.v.):
6:00 p.m. - College Football: Baylor at Texas
9:30 p.m. - "Tommy Boy" starring Chris Farley and David Spade
11:30 p.m. - College Football: Baylor at Texas (previously recorded)
2:45 a.m. - Interstitial Programming (I don't know what this is, but it's got to be good in this line-up!)
Hats off to the fine folks at the Turner family of networks for this brilliant piece of scheduling! Much, much better than the scheduling troubles I encountered last Saturday (see post).
The title of this post comes from the deep and meaningful lyrics of the College Gameday theme song, performed by your favorite artists and mine, Big and Rich with Cowboy Troy. How this song escaped Grammy-level recognition, I will never know.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Living In The Past
It is one year since my late-night, double flat tire adventure in the parking lot of a local Kroger supermarket. Time has passed and wounds have healed, but it's still a hell of a story. You should check out the "Without A Car In The World" post from October 11th of 2005 and enjoy. How's that for resting on your blogging laurels? Lame.
In other Living-in-the-Past news, how about these baseball playoffs? The Detroit Tigers, the Oakland A's, the St. Louis Cardinals, and the New York Mets. Welcome to the mid-to-late 80's everyone! It takes me back. I remember game 6 of the '86 World Series when, on the brink of closing it out, the Red Sox blew the game on an easy-out error and went on to lose the Series to the Mets. That same night, I spent the night at a friend's house and lost 6 teeth. Six teeth!! In one night!!! I was wearing an orthodontic device that finally shoved all my remaining baby teeth out. At once. What a night!
Speaking of the playoffs, my Yankees are out again. It sucks that they completely crumbled, but I think they have made me and every other non-New Yorker Yankee fan free to like the team as much as we want. What do I mean? Allow me to explain...
Whenever it comes up that I like the Yankees, fans of other teams look at me like I have disgusted them and say something like, "The YANKEES? How can you like them? They just buy up all the talent. It's not fair. They are evil!" (I don't think people give this reaction to New Yorkers who are fans. Yankee-haters realize it is natural for them to like the team from their city. And they are afraid the New Yorkers will mug them.)
First of all, if you don't like it, write a letter to the MLB and get them to change the rules. At the moment, everything the Yanks do is completely legal and, if they have the means, they should do everything possible to be competitive. (If you are going to write that letter, by the way, also ask them to standardize field design and size. It makes no sense that fielders have to cover more space in some stadia* than others and that homeruns in some cities are outs in others.)
Now, the Yankees have lost - in grand style, I might add - each of the last six years. They are clearly not tearing everyone else apart. They clearly have not ruined Major League Baseball's competition. The playing field, while not standardized (see parenthetical tirade above), seems to be level. Except, of course, for the Devil Rays. (Sorry Mom and Dad!)
So I don't want to hear it any more. I am a fan of the New York Yankees. They are America's team. They are pride, power, and pinstripes. They are 26-time world champions and, even though they've tried their best to ruin the Greatest Sports Year Ever, they will be back.
*I took Latin for 3 years in high school. I don't recommend doing that, by the way, but I believe stadia might be the proper plural form of stadium. Explaining this would get me beaten up in the Bronx (proper Latin plural for the Bronk). Or maybe mugged.
In other Living-in-the-Past news, how about these baseball playoffs? The Detroit Tigers, the Oakland A's, the St. Louis Cardinals, and the New York Mets. Welcome to the mid-to-late 80's everyone! It takes me back. I remember game 6 of the '86 World Series when, on the brink of closing it out, the Red Sox blew the game on an easy-out error and went on to lose the Series to the Mets. That same night, I spent the night at a friend's house and lost 6 teeth. Six teeth!! In one night!!! I was wearing an orthodontic device that finally shoved all my remaining baby teeth out. At once. What a night!
Speaking of the playoffs, my Yankees are out again. It sucks that they completely crumbled, but I think they have made me and every other non-New Yorker Yankee fan free to like the team as much as we want. What do I mean? Allow me to explain...
Whenever it comes up that I like the Yankees, fans of other teams look at me like I have disgusted them and say something like, "The YANKEES? How can you like them? They just buy up all the talent. It's not fair. They are evil!" (I don't think people give this reaction to New Yorkers who are fans. Yankee-haters realize it is natural for them to like the team from their city. And they are afraid the New Yorkers will mug them.)
First of all, if you don't like it, write a letter to the MLB and get them to change the rules. At the moment, everything the Yanks do is completely legal and, if they have the means, they should do everything possible to be competitive. (If you are going to write that letter, by the way, also ask them to standardize field design and size. It makes no sense that fielders have to cover more space in some stadia* than others and that homeruns in some cities are outs in others.)
Now, the Yankees have lost - in grand style, I might add - each of the last six years. They are clearly not tearing everyone else apart. They clearly have not ruined Major League Baseball's competition. The playing field, while not standardized (see parenthetical tirade above), seems to be level. Except, of course, for the Devil Rays. (Sorry Mom and Dad!)
So I don't want to hear it any more. I am a fan of the New York Yankees. They are America's team. They are pride, power, and pinstripes. They are 26-time world champions and, even though they've tried their best to ruin the Greatest Sports Year Ever, they will be back.
*I took Latin for 3 years in high school. I don't recommend doing that, by the way, but I believe stadia might be the proper plural form of stadium. Explaining this would get me beaten up in the Bronx (proper Latin plural for the Bronk). Or maybe mugged.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Up Against It
I have, many times since the Texas Longhorns won the college football national championship at the Rose Bowl some 10 months ago, called 2006 the greatest sports year ever. Shortly after the 'Horns took home the crystal football, the Pittsburgh Steelers, my favorite NFL team, won a surprising 5th Super Bowl. The year was rolling. Since then, great teams have met with success, but not championships. Teams like the Memphis Tigers and Texas Longhorns basketball teams, both of whom had a legitimate shot at going all the way, but were knocked out in the Elite 8 round of the NCAA tournament. (For the record, a run to the Elite 8 is outstanding. It was only disappointing because it didn't have to end there and because it wasn't supposed to, as this is the greatest sports year ever.)
Next came Longhorn Baseball, a perennial threat to win the College World Series. The bat-swingin' 'Horns spent some time ranked at the top this season and had the look of a potential champion. They did not make the College World Series. But, I thought, this is supposed to be the greatest sports year ever! Still, two championships is pretty great.
But now, what have you done for me lately, sports year? Nine months since a championship. But things can get back on track today. Texas plays Oklahoma. That, in any sports year, is huge to me. (See "Red River Rockin' and Rollin'" post from October of 2005) That's not all, though. My best chance for a third favorite team to win a championship* rests with the New York Yankees, a powerhouse of baseball team picked by many to win it all. Today, they face elimination in their Divisional Series against the pesky, upstart** Detroit Tigers. The Yankees, and their batting order of nine players who've all been all-stars must come through today to save their season, and mine where baseball is concerned.
It's going to be a great day! I'm off to eat orange and get ready to cheer on the Longhorns. Hook 'em!
* Right behind the Yankees, as a preferred team to win it all, is the Michigan Wolverines football team. Undefeated so far, they have a chance to win the championship that Texas won last season. Make no mistake, I want Texas to be the national champion... every year. But if they can't (they still can, but it's shaky), Michigan is option #2, which brings us to a bit of poor scheduling by my friends at the television networks. Texas plays Oklahoma at 2:30. The Yankees play the Tigers at 3:00, and Michigan plays Michigan State at 3:30. If each game were 30 minutes long, that would be perfect. They are not.
** There is no more annoying way to hear your genuinely good team referred to than as pesky upstarts. It's like when you're mad at something as a kid and seemingly every adult present looks at you, cocks his head and says to others as though you can't hear, "Somebody's tired." Man, that used to piss me off. And I'm not just saying that because I'm tired! Sorry Tiger fans. (I'm not really sorry.)
Next came Longhorn Baseball, a perennial threat to win the College World Series. The bat-swingin' 'Horns spent some time ranked at the top this season and had the look of a potential champion. They did not make the College World Series. But, I thought, this is supposed to be the greatest sports year ever! Still, two championships is pretty great.
But now, what have you done for me lately, sports year? Nine months since a championship. But things can get back on track today. Texas plays Oklahoma. That, in any sports year, is huge to me. (See "Red River Rockin' and Rollin'" post from October of 2005) That's not all, though. My best chance for a third favorite team to win a championship* rests with the New York Yankees, a powerhouse of baseball team picked by many to win it all. Today, they face elimination in their Divisional Series against the pesky, upstart** Detroit Tigers. The Yankees, and their batting order of nine players who've all been all-stars must come through today to save their season, and mine where baseball is concerned.
It's going to be a great day! I'm off to eat orange and get ready to cheer on the Longhorns. Hook 'em!
* Right behind the Yankees, as a preferred team to win it all, is the Michigan Wolverines football team. Undefeated so far, they have a chance to win the championship that Texas won last season. Make no mistake, I want Texas to be the national champion... every year. But if they can't (they still can, but it's shaky), Michigan is option #2, which brings us to a bit of poor scheduling by my friends at the television networks. Texas plays Oklahoma at 2:30. The Yankees play the Tigers at 3:00, and Michigan plays Michigan State at 3:30. If each game were 30 minutes long, that would be perfect. They are not.
** There is no more annoying way to hear your genuinely good team referred to than as pesky upstarts. It's like when you're mad at something as a kid and seemingly every adult present looks at you, cocks his head and says to others as though you can't hear, "Somebody's tired." Man, that used to piss me off. And I'm not just saying that because I'm tired! Sorry Tiger fans. (I'm not really sorry.)
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