I'm the "Funniest Person in Memphis!" Seriously! Check it out....
http://commercialappeal.com/mca/arts/article/0,1426,MCA_542_4730366,00.html
It was a fun show. A little bit of a marathon, but fun. My thanks to Comedy, Tennessee - Memphis' hot new comedy club set to open at their new location on June 15th. Hopefully I'll get to start my week's worth of shows then and make history!
Hope you are having a great weekend. Remember...You can keep up with all of Michael "Ziggy" Danziger's comedy news at www.laughwithziggy.com.*
*That last line was so informative because I'm trying to optimize search engines' ability to find me. Sorry for the vanity!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Spin Your Best Yarn
As I mentioned in the previous post, my foot is broken. It has been that way now for about three days. I can't put any weight on it and I'm using crutches. It's not particularly fun. I have found that losing the use of a foot turns previously small, easy tasks into major strategic operations. I plan to be a great chess player when this is over.
Upon finding out that my foot is broken, everyone wants to know the same thing: "How did it happen?"
This is where I need your help. You see, this happened in an incredibly unexciting way. Basically, I was jogging across a parking lot and stepped on a slightly uneven piece of pavement and my bone snapped. (It was weakened by a previous stress fracture for those who now think I must have some terrible bone disorder.) That's it.
But that story has yet to satisfy one person. As a matter of fact, several people have told me, "Oh, you've got to come up with something better." Interestingly, a full 100% of the people who've said that have gone on to suggest some variation of saving a child's life. These are obviously noble, concerned citizens who value life over, say, the X-Games.
Forget the nice, noble people. I want YOU to tell my story. Using the comment feature, give me your best "how Michael broke his foot" story. It can be long and detailed or short and to the point. It just has to be good because I obviously didn't break my foot "right" and now I need some embellishment. Help me. Be creative. Make my boot seem worthwhile, after all. And.... go!
Upon finding out that my foot is broken, everyone wants to know the same thing: "How did it happen?"
This is where I need your help. You see, this happened in an incredibly unexciting way. Basically, I was jogging across a parking lot and stepped on a slightly uneven piece of pavement and my bone snapped. (It was weakened by a previous stress fracture for those who now think I must have some terrible bone disorder.) That's it.
But that story has yet to satisfy one person. As a matter of fact, several people have told me, "Oh, you've got to come up with something better." Interestingly, a full 100% of the people who've said that have gone on to suggest some variation of saving a child's life. These are obviously noble, concerned citizens who value life over, say, the X-Games.
Forget the nice, noble people. I want YOU to tell my story. Using the comment feature, give me your best "how Michael broke his foot" story. It can be long and detailed or short and to the point. It just has to be good because I obviously didn't break my foot "right" and now I need some embellishment. Help me. Be creative. Make my boot seem worthwhile, after all. And.... go!
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
D+? Oh my God...
I passed! I got a D+! I'm gonna graduate! (That's from Tommy Boy. I' m surprised you didn't know that.) That's also from Tommy Boy. I'm surprised you didn't know THAT.
I just passed the Tennessee Real Estate Commission's licensing exam for affiliate brokers, clearing my last major hurdle to being licensed and to eventual mogul-dom. I have to take one more 30-hour class now (what a scam!) before the state will issue the license. By the way, I didn't really get a D+. They don't tell you your grade. They just tell you you passed. Apparently, if you fail they tell you your score. I'd like to know how I did, but that hardly seems worth it.
It's been a long time since I've written (sorry about that) and there's lots and lots of news. I'll give you the bullet-point update now and give you more details later.
-I broke my foot. I can't walk. I'm on crutches and wearing one of those boots.
-As a result of the foot, I can not play in the new JCC 30 and over men's basketball league. Apparently, and this is not a joke, though it should be, I was the number one pick when the teams were drafted for the league. What a hilariously pathetic league and what a magnficently gloriously complete draft-day bust!
-I went to New York for comedy, had a great and terrible performance (same performance - I'll explain later) and saw lots of friends. That was before the foot.
-I saw fake Charlie Bucket not get a golden ticket at LaGuardia Airport. It was sad.
-The Lady Rabs lost in the championship game. It was a valiant effort and I'm proud of them and couldn't have had more fun with them. Well... maybe a little more. If we had won.
-I had a stand-up performance at an elementary school. I was heckled by a four-year-old.
I just passed the Tennessee Real Estate Commission's licensing exam for affiliate brokers, clearing my last major hurdle to being licensed and to eventual mogul-dom. I have to take one more 30-hour class now (what a scam!) before the state will issue the license. By the way, I didn't really get a D+. They don't tell you your grade. They just tell you you passed. Apparently, if you fail they tell you your score. I'd like to know how I did, but that hardly seems worth it.
It's been a long time since I've written (sorry about that) and there's lots and lots of news. I'll give you the bullet-point update now and give you more details later.
-I broke my foot. I can't walk. I'm on crutches and wearing one of those boots.
-As a result of the foot, I can not play in the new JCC 30 and over men's basketball league. Apparently, and this is not a joke, though it should be, I was the number one pick when the teams were drafted for the league. What a hilariously pathetic league and what a magnficently gloriously complete draft-day bust!
-I went to New York for comedy, had a great and terrible performance (same performance - I'll explain later) and saw lots of friends. That was before the foot.
-I saw fake Charlie Bucket not get a golden ticket at LaGuardia Airport. It was sad.
-The Lady Rabs lost in the championship game. It was a valiant effort and I'm proud of them and couldn't have had more fun with them. Well... maybe a little more. If we had won.
-I had a stand-up performance at an elementary school. I was heckled by a four-year-old.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Shining Moments
Well, well, well. There you are! Haven't seen you in a while. That is, of course, no fault of yours. I have been... well... away. But I am back and I am excited!
I just got home from what I'm pretty sure was the first election-night victory party I have been to. Congratulations to Mike Ritz, new Shelby County Commissioner. He's going to be great and I'm glad he was victorious. Until now, pretty much all of my candidates have lost. This was a nice change. I think I'm going to try to win more often. Starting tomorrow night.
That's right! I know you have been wondering how the Temple Israel Lady Rabs are doing. Well, I'll tell you how they're doing. They're playing in the championship game tomorrow night! They are on the brink of history, poised to bring a title home to Temple. It will be tough, though. We are facing the #1 seeded team, against whom we were 1-2 during the regular season and we are missing a key player who went down in the semifinals with a knee injury. This team has the talent and the heart to win this game, though, and I expect that 2006 will reestablish itself as the Greatest Sports Year Ever and we will be champions.
23 hours until One Shining Moment.*
*23 hours until I play One Shining Moment on my iPod and continue to pretend that the world cares about the Lady Rabs.
I just got home from what I'm pretty sure was the first election-night victory party I have been to. Congratulations to Mike Ritz, new Shelby County Commissioner. He's going to be great and I'm glad he was victorious. Until now, pretty much all of my candidates have lost. This was a nice change. I think I'm going to try to win more often. Starting tomorrow night.
That's right! I know you have been wondering how the Temple Israel Lady Rabs are doing. Well, I'll tell you how they're doing. They're playing in the championship game tomorrow night! They are on the brink of history, poised to bring a title home to Temple. It will be tough, though. We are facing the #1 seeded team, against whom we were 1-2 during the regular season and we are missing a key player who went down in the semifinals with a knee injury. This team has the talent and the heart to win this game, though, and I expect that 2006 will reestablish itself as the Greatest Sports Year Ever and we will be champions.
23 hours until One Shining Moment.*
*23 hours until I play One Shining Moment on my iPod and continue to pretend that the world cares about the Lady Rabs.
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