Mornin'! Just home from my Jewish men's basketball league game. Fun as always. Funny as always. But we're 3-0 and I expect nothing less than a championship. Stay tuned.
Speaking of stay tuned, I have been seeing commercials on AMC for their Movies With TV People marathon beginning this afternoon. The commercials, themselves, might be my favorite thing I've ever seen on television. Apparently, this marathon includes Fletch, Tommy Boy, and Blues Brothers - three of my all-time favorites, each of which I have easily seen scores of times. Here's the thing, though. I own all these movies. I have them on VHS or DVD* and can watch them anytime I want - sans commercials, nonetheless. I rarely do. However, now I see that they will be shown on TV and I find myself hoping I'll be home to watch them - with commercials, mind you**. There's just something about an announced showtime and the knowledge that others are watching at the same time that makes it more desirable to watch.
So now I ask a question that I believe we are all-too-often afraid to ask when we confound ourselves in life. Am I alone? Does this happen to others? Or am I alone in this cold, hard world as a man who watches the movies I love on someone else's terms when I have the ability and freedom to enjoy them at my own leisure (pronounced leh-zhure)?
* All of my movies are on VHS or DVD, but I'm seeing advertisements now for new movie releases on "UMD for PSP." What the hell is PSP?!? If I have to buy a new piece of equipment on which to play movies in the next 2 years, I will be... outraged. Absolutely outraged. (Okay, I'm sorry. Sorry I flew off the handle. Sorry you had to see me that way.)
** I don't have Tivo, so don't comment telling me to compromise by watching while they're on, but skip the commercials. I don't want to hear it.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
A Brush With My Own "Fame"
Howdy!
Just stopping home for a moment between Saturday night activities. I was just at a nearby Borders bookstore listening to my friends' band play. As if knowing the band isn't cool enough, how about this? As I was listening, I noticed a man perusing a familiar looking book on a local interest display nearby. At closer glance, I realized he was reading Children of Israel: The Story of Temple Israel, a history of my synagogue's first 150 years. I'm in that book! I grew up there as the rabbi's kid and served as the youth director for the last five years. It was a very strange experience to see someone looking through a book that, first of all, I assume very few people look through and, second, you're in.
I wanted so badly to go over and tell him, "Hey! I'm in that book!" I really had to resist the temptation. For a rather large man, I guess I can be a very small person! Aside from the desire to point myself out in the book, I really wanted to know why he had chosen this book - out of the thousands and thousands of volumes available on the premises - to read. It can't be completely random.
Okay, that's it. That's my story. It's off to a late night pre-high holy days service at....? You guessed it! Temple Israel. Off to become a bigger man. Figuratively.
Just stopping home for a moment between Saturday night activities. I was just at a nearby Borders bookstore listening to my friends' band play. As if knowing the band isn't cool enough, how about this? As I was listening, I noticed a man perusing a familiar looking book on a local interest display nearby. At closer glance, I realized he was reading Children of Israel: The Story of Temple Israel, a history of my synagogue's first 150 years. I'm in that book! I grew up there as the rabbi's kid and served as the youth director for the last five years. It was a very strange experience to see someone looking through a book that, first of all, I assume very few people look through and, second, you're in.
I wanted so badly to go over and tell him, "Hey! I'm in that book!" I really had to resist the temptation. For a rather large man, I guess I can be a very small person! Aside from the desire to point myself out in the book, I really wanted to know why he had chosen this book - out of the thousands and thousands of volumes available on the premises - to read. It can't be completely random.
Okay, that's it. That's my story. It's off to a late night pre-high holy days service at....? You guessed it! Temple Israel. Off to become a bigger man. Figuratively.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
The Human Dichotomy
It seems to me that there are two kinds of people in the world. ("Hmmm," you must be thinking to yourself. "Into what two groups has Michael divided the members of the human race? What has he identified as the crucial criterion in determining the nature of a person? I'll bet it is something really interesting and thought-provoking." You are wrong.)
There are those who think that the Hummer is a vehicle that is cool and that somehow makes sense.
And there are those who can barely contain their disbelief at the idea that a company makes these and that people buy them as their cars.
I am not afraid to admit to you that I am a part of the 2nd group. It actually causes me a slight physical pain each time I see one as I try to decide whether to laugh at the tremendous vehicle, yell at its driver, or avoid the motorized behemoth because it is wider than the lane it's in. In the end, I usually settle on some combination of those that includes the avoidance option. That seems smart.
What kind of person are you? Don't hesitate to let us all know using the comment feature.
I am quite pleased by the recent flood (relatively, it's a flood, so back off!) of comments. And please don't think that it's not okay to say you're a member of the first group. For without that group, who would make the rest of us look smart?
There are those who think that the Hummer is a vehicle that is cool and that somehow makes sense.
And there are those who can barely contain their disbelief at the idea that a company makes these and that people buy them as their cars.
I am not afraid to admit to you that I am a part of the 2nd group. It actually causes me a slight physical pain each time I see one as I try to decide whether to laugh at the tremendous vehicle, yell at its driver, or avoid the motorized behemoth because it is wider than the lane it's in. In the end, I usually settle on some combination of those that includes the avoidance option. That seems smart.
What kind of person are you? Don't hesitate to let us all know using the comment feature.
I am quite pleased by the recent flood (relatively, it's a flood, so back off!) of comments. And please don't think that it's not okay to say you're a member of the first group. For without that group, who would make the rest of us look smart?
Monday, September 12, 2005
Horns, Hoops, and Unfunny Hilarity
A hearty hello and happy Monday to you! It has been an eventful last few days, and I feel the need to make sure you are abreast of all the excitement in my life...
HORNS
Did you see the Texas Longhorns on Saturday night? Holy crap! For those who don't follow college football, the huge game of the week featured my beloved Longhorns playing at Ohio State. These two teams were both ranked in the top 5 in the country, both have hopes of playing for the national championship, both have superstar players, both have huge football histories. This was the first time they've played and it was before more than 105,000 very loud and excited fans.
It was a game for which the hype built steadily over a series of months since the matchup was announced and the game absolutely lived up to the hype, which is rare. It was so exciting! A back and forth battle with great defense on both sides and a few crucial moments that made all the difference.
I watched the game at home by myself. For those of you unaware of this, I never underestimate the role I may be playing in the game, even from a thousand miles away. On game day, I eat and drink orange things, just to make sure the color is not only on my body (clothes, not paint), but coursing through it, as well. To me, this makes a difference. With the Longhorn Band cd playing and the t.v. cranked up loud, I watched, paced, worried, and celebrated until the game was over. I was actually sweaty. From watching. My home is air conditioned.
Can't wait for the rest of the season. Hook 'em!
HOOPS
Yesterday, my new basketball season started. Always exciting - I love to play. This however, was the beginning of my first season in my Jewish Community Center's 30 and over league. I'm not quite 30, but apparently will be soon enough to qualify. I've been waiting for this for a long time (about 29 1/2 years). I think this is the league where I can really hit my stride. I considered, a few years ago, getting a fake i.d. that would get me into this league early. That's how excited I am.
First of all, let me just say that everything about these Jewish men's basketball leagues I play in is like a comedian's dream. The styles and levels of play, the seriousness of some of the players, etc. It's freaking hilarious.
Now, as for my debut, it did not disappoint. I have never shot like that in my life. I was hitting 3's. I was hitting 2's. Even a couple of 1's, which we call free throws in my country. I think I scored 24 points. I think there have been seasons in which I didn't score that many points. It's very exciting. Stay tuned to find out if I am really the Michael Jordan of the MJCC 30 and over men's basketball league. I'll certainly let you know.
UNFUNNY HILARITY
Later yesterday, I did stand-up at a kick-off-the-year barbeque at Hillel of Memphis, the Jewish student organization for college students in Memphis. I don't even know how to begin to describe this. First of all, I got there expecting college students, which makes sense, I think. But it was about half collegians and half older members of the community and even some seniors(not in college. I'm talking citizens)! What the deuce!
So, the time came to perform. No stage, no microphone. More of a living room setting. And they just stared. They were so quiet during the performance. It was like performing for statues. They were so polite and nice. They were listening and they seemed to like it, but only inside. I brought my friend Jeff, who is a very funny comedian in town, and he performed, too, and met with the same stone-faced group that I did. It probably should have been disheartening, but really it was far more hilarious. We were laughing so hard afterward. I guess they just weren't ready for stand-up in the middle of the afternoon, with their parents and grandparents, and their minds on the kosher hot dogs that were yet to come. It was strangely fun, though, and I sort of hope I get famous now just because I think I would enjoy talking about this on Leno one day. That's a good reason, right?
HORNS
Did you see the Texas Longhorns on Saturday night? Holy crap! For those who don't follow college football, the huge game of the week featured my beloved Longhorns playing at Ohio State. These two teams were both ranked in the top 5 in the country, both have hopes of playing for the national championship, both have superstar players, both have huge football histories. This was the first time they've played and it was before more than 105,000 very loud and excited fans.
It was a game for which the hype built steadily over a series of months since the matchup was announced and the game absolutely lived up to the hype, which is rare. It was so exciting! A back and forth battle with great defense on both sides and a few crucial moments that made all the difference.
I watched the game at home by myself. For those of you unaware of this, I never underestimate the role I may be playing in the game, even from a thousand miles away. On game day, I eat and drink orange things, just to make sure the color is not only on my body (clothes, not paint), but coursing through it, as well. To me, this makes a difference. With the Longhorn Band cd playing and the t.v. cranked up loud, I watched, paced, worried, and celebrated until the game was over. I was actually sweaty. From watching. My home is air conditioned.
Can't wait for the rest of the season. Hook 'em!
HOOPS
Yesterday, my new basketball season started. Always exciting - I love to play. This however, was the beginning of my first season in my Jewish Community Center's 30 and over league. I'm not quite 30, but apparently will be soon enough to qualify. I've been waiting for this for a long time (about 29 1/2 years). I think this is the league where I can really hit my stride. I considered, a few years ago, getting a fake i.d. that would get me into this league early. That's how excited I am.
First of all, let me just say that everything about these Jewish men's basketball leagues I play in is like a comedian's dream. The styles and levels of play, the seriousness of some of the players, etc. It's freaking hilarious.
Now, as for my debut, it did not disappoint. I have never shot like that in my life. I was hitting 3's. I was hitting 2's. Even a couple of 1's, which we call free throws in my country. I think I scored 24 points. I think there have been seasons in which I didn't score that many points. It's very exciting. Stay tuned to find out if I am really the Michael Jordan of the MJCC 30 and over men's basketball league. I'll certainly let you know.
UNFUNNY HILARITY
Later yesterday, I did stand-up at a kick-off-the-year barbeque at Hillel of Memphis, the Jewish student organization for college students in Memphis. I don't even know how to begin to describe this. First of all, I got there expecting college students, which makes sense, I think. But it was about half collegians and half older members of the community and even some seniors(not in college. I'm talking citizens)! What the deuce!
So, the time came to perform. No stage, no microphone. More of a living room setting. And they just stared. They were so quiet during the performance. It was like performing for statues. They were so polite and nice. They were listening and they seemed to like it, but only inside. I brought my friend Jeff, who is a very funny comedian in town, and he performed, too, and met with the same stone-faced group that I did. It probably should have been disheartening, but really it was far more hilarious. We were laughing so hard afterward. I guess they just weren't ready for stand-up in the middle of the afternoon, with their parents and grandparents, and their minds on the kosher hot dogs that were yet to come. It was strangely fun, though, and I sort of hope I get famous now just because I think I would enjoy talking about this on Leno one day. That's a good reason, right?
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
A Heart So Broken; A Heart So Full
Greetings. My apologies for the recent hiatus in my writing. None of the thoughts I would have shared with you have seemed necessary in the time since Hurricane Katrina hit. So I thought I would share some reflections and observations from my recent volunteer experiences and interactions with hurricane survivors.
I'm not a crier. Every once and a while at a bar mitzvah or wedding, but basically, I've rarely done it ever since the waterworks caused by Alex P. Keaton's departure for Wall Street on the show Family Ties. (That still gets me in reruns!) That's why the strength of my emotions these last days grabs my attention the way it does.
Volunteering at the Red Cross here, I have met so many families in need of help and healing. My heart has broken so many times over the last few days as I have observed the despair of evacuees and their battle with the barrage of unfairness the world has seemingly showered upon them. My heart has broken every time I have, in facilitating the relief process for the many, had to say no to a special request from an individual at a moment when he or she so badly needs to hear "yes" from someone.
While it sounds like it could be almost too much to handle, it is not. It is not because every time my heart breaks, it is quickly made whole again by the sight of volunteers doing all they can to help other people. My heart swells at the sight of those in despair exhibiting understanding with people and a process that are trying hard, but can't give them the immediate help they need and deserve. My heart fills when people love other people - reaching out, comforting, helping, reassuring - when they love despite hating the situation in which they find themselves.
What a mix of emotions! In the end, though, none of this is about how I feel. It's about human beings having what they need - food, shelter, security, a sense of purpose, and the love of others. It's about realizing the power we have to help, to understand, to be patient, to care, to build and to restore humanity's faith in goodness, and humanity's faith in humanity.
Finally, a hearty happy birthday to Karim! Karim is a brand-new 11 year old (he's not brand new, but the fact that he's 11 is, you see!) from New Orleans. I met him today at the Red Cross, where he was waiting in a long line for relief with his mother. I was very busy all day there, but I'm almost certain that the most important thing I did was create a birthday celebration for Karim in the midst of the relief-hungry crowd. I made a birthday card for him and got the people around his mother in line to sing to him when I brought him over. Kirstie Alley even brought over his cake! She was visiting to spread cheer(s). Got that? I just saw the birthday card on the tv news, which caught part of the celebration! Anyway, I think his mother was surprised anyone cared that it was his birthday, and I think the others who sang felt really good about celebrating life, even if just for a moment. Life is hard for every one of them, but it is not over. Turning from surviving to rebuilding to thriving will be a long, hard process, but it has begun.
Please help keep it going. Have a good night!
I'm not a crier. Every once and a while at a bar mitzvah or wedding, but basically, I've rarely done it ever since the waterworks caused by Alex P. Keaton's departure for Wall Street on the show Family Ties. (That still gets me in reruns!) That's why the strength of my emotions these last days grabs my attention the way it does.
Volunteering at the Red Cross here, I have met so many families in need of help and healing. My heart has broken so many times over the last few days as I have observed the despair of evacuees and their battle with the barrage of unfairness the world has seemingly showered upon them. My heart has broken every time I have, in facilitating the relief process for the many, had to say no to a special request from an individual at a moment when he or she so badly needs to hear "yes" from someone.
While it sounds like it could be almost too much to handle, it is not. It is not because every time my heart breaks, it is quickly made whole again by the sight of volunteers doing all they can to help other people. My heart swells at the sight of those in despair exhibiting understanding with people and a process that are trying hard, but can't give them the immediate help they need and deserve. My heart fills when people love other people - reaching out, comforting, helping, reassuring - when they love despite hating the situation in which they find themselves.
What a mix of emotions! In the end, though, none of this is about how I feel. It's about human beings having what they need - food, shelter, security, a sense of purpose, and the love of others. It's about realizing the power we have to help, to understand, to be patient, to care, to build and to restore humanity's faith in goodness, and humanity's faith in humanity.
Finally, a hearty happy birthday to Karim! Karim is a brand-new 11 year old (he's not brand new, but the fact that he's 11 is, you see!) from New Orleans. I met him today at the Red Cross, where he was waiting in a long line for relief with his mother. I was very busy all day there, but I'm almost certain that the most important thing I did was create a birthday celebration for Karim in the midst of the relief-hungry crowd. I made a birthday card for him and got the people around his mother in line to sing to him when I brought him over. Kirstie Alley even brought over his cake! She was visiting to spread cheer(s). Got that? I just saw the birthday card on the tv news, which caught part of the celebration! Anyway, I think his mother was surprised anyone cared that it was his birthday, and I think the others who sang felt really good about celebrating life, even if just for a moment. Life is hard for every one of them, but it is not over. Turning from surviving to rebuilding to thriving will be a long, hard process, but it has begun.
Please help keep it going. Have a good night!
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