High Definition Blogging

I like television, and I've been watching a lot of it lately. I find that I'm being bombarded by promotions of new t.v. technologies - the most prominent of which is high definition television, or HDTV. I think maybe we're a little carried away with our ability to make technical progress. I just don't think a lot of it is necessary. Was there something wrong with t.v. that made us need HDTV? We couldn’t see it well enough, apparently? A couple of years ago when HDTV was just being unveiled, I was in New York and went on a tour of the NBC Studios. The guide gets all excited, he says, “Soon, everything we do will be shown in HDTV! You all know about HDTV?” We’re like, “not really.” He gets this excited/crazed look in his eye and he’s like, “well let me explain it to you this way. When you’re watching a baseball game, not only will the action on the field be so much clearer, but you’ll be able to see what a fan in centerfield… is eating!”

Is that what we’ve been missing? I guess so. I guess television will always be a failure until I can personally lay eyes on every hot dog sold at Yankee Stadium. And you know they’ll just keep making advancements. What’s next, Super HDTV? “You can not only see what the fan in centerfield is eating, but you can tell if he likes it!”

And then a few years later, Extra Super HDTV. “You can not only tell if the fan in centerfield likes his pretzel, you can tune back in later and watch him poop it out! You’ll be able to tell what kind of toilet paper he’s using!”

I guess the next thing after that will be Smellevision! Okay, that’s enough. I just grossed myself out a little.

Morning Rituals

Hello there! I hope you are having a great day. I know I am. My day started much like my days usually do - with my favorite morning ritual. I don’t mean the coffee or the shower, or even the Today Show or Good Morning Memphis. I’m talking about deleting all the emails that come during the night. Aren’t those great? Every morning it’s the same. Increase your sex drive! Increase your penis size! Add three inches! Three inches? (now pretend you're me saying this next part really sarcastically) Oooohhhh! Big difference! (Did you get the effect?) I used to laugh at those emails, but now... well, now I just think it’s nice that my old girlfriends keep in touch at all.

Retirement, Glorious Retirement!

Hello there! I just wanted to let you know that it's 12:50 p.m. (central time) and I'm sitting at home in my recliner wearing boxer briefs and a bathrobe. That's right. Boxer briefs. All the comfort of a boxer, all the support of a brief. It's only a matter of time before I put on dress socks and complete the outfit. I'll keep you posted. Have a nice day!