The entire staff here at ZiggyBackRide is going to rabbinical school (seminary to become a rabbi). Here are the facts in a hopefully helpful Q & A format
Q: Where are you going?
A: Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, commonly referred to as HUC. It's the seminary of Reform Judaism.
Q: And where is this "HUC?"
A: There are four campi (I would usually say "campuses," but what if my high school Latin teacher reads this?) One is in Jerusalem. That is where I'll spend the first year. The rest will be spent on one of the three Stateside locatia ("locations" - I made that one up in case my gibberish teacher is reading.) They are in Cincinnati, New York, and Los Angeles. I have not yet been assigned, but if I had to bet, I'd put my whole stack of chips on Cincinnati.
Q: One year in Jerusalem and "the rest" in one of three places. How long is the rest?
A: The rest is four years. It is a five year program.
Q: How long???
A: Five years. So I should be a rabbi well before age 60.
Q: So you're moving to Israel for a year? When do you leave?
A: End of June. In less than a month.
Q: That's soon! Are you ready?
A: Not even close. I do have a plane ticket. Much more to arrange. Otherwise I may become part of Israel's growing homelessness problem.* In related news, if you know anyone that may want to rent or buy my condo in the greater Memphis area, let me know.
Q: Wait. Are you Jewish?
A: Umm... yes. Maybe this should have been the first question?
Q: Probably right. Sorry. So, why be a rabbi?
A: I think it's a good place to do a lot of the things I want to do, enjoy doing, and am good at. I think, too, that it's a way that I can help people, help the world, and live my faith.
Q: Where will you go after you graduate? Do they assign you or what?
A: No telling. When I am ordained, I'll interview with different congregations, etc. I could end up anywhere, but I have some say. You don't get "assigned." So we'll see.
Q: How's your Hebrew?
A: Etzi-ketzi (That's Greek for so-so, in case my Greek teacher... oh, never mind)! I've been studying and one of the first orders of business in Jerusalem is intensive training. Ask me again in six weeks!
Q: How long is this Q & A supposed to be?
A: Shorter.
Q: Oh. Sorry. Thanks for talking with us. Will there be a way for us to keep up with your experiences and adventures in the Holy Land?
A: Why, of course there will! The rabbinical ride will be chronicled right here. Visit often, especially if you can't actually visit me often!
*I don't know if Israel actually has a growing homelessness problem, but if I don't find an apartment there, I guess it will!
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Eighteen and Eight
ZiggyBackRiders... Helllloooo!! (to be read as Uncle Leo* would have said it on Seinfeld). I hope this finds you well. It has been eighteen months and eight days since my last post. It was a good one and I wanted to let it linger with you for a bit, but this was not quite what I had in mind!
We live in a world that is constantly changing, but in which some things tend to stay the same.
Evidence of the former: 1)The staff here at ZiggyBackRide was almost unable to access this blog because an email originally associated with the account is now defunct. Technological changes almost brought the Ride to (even more of) a screeching halt (than the lack of posts herein). 2) The Temple Israel Lady Rabs basketball team, whose victories and, more often, defeats, have been chronicled here, are now league champions. The mountain has been climbed. It's a different obscure Jewish teen basketball world than it's ever been.
Evidence of the latter: This glorious ride is cranking back up, just as it always has no matter how long the hiatus, to take you on journey after glorious journey. This time, though, the Ride is going to be going new places. Actual other places. You'll see. In the very next post, as a matter of fact, the stage will be set for our next chapter together. Stay tuned.
I hope you've had a wonderful eighteen and eight. I've missed you. It's good to be back. Let's ride!
*Among the many, many things that have transpired during the past eighteen months and eight days, the actor who played Uncle Leo passed away. Goood-bbyyyyyeeee. :(
We live in a world that is constantly changing, but in which some things tend to stay the same.
Evidence of the former: 1)The staff here at ZiggyBackRide was almost unable to access this blog because an email originally associated with the account is now defunct. Technological changes almost brought the Ride to (even more of) a screeching halt (than the lack of posts herein). 2) The Temple Israel Lady Rabs basketball team, whose victories and, more often, defeats, have been chronicled here, are now league champions. The mountain has been climbed. It's a different obscure Jewish teen basketball world than it's ever been.
Evidence of the latter: This glorious ride is cranking back up, just as it always has no matter how long the hiatus, to take you on journey after glorious journey. This time, though, the Ride is going to be going new places. Actual other places. You'll see. In the very next post, as a matter of fact, the stage will be set for our next chapter together. Stay tuned.
I hope you've had a wonderful eighteen and eight. I've missed you. It's good to be back. Let's ride!
*Among the many, many things that have transpired during the past eighteen months and eight days, the actor who played Uncle Leo passed away. Goood-bbyyyyyeeee. :(
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Welcome To Our Planet
I think aliens are joining the ZiggyBackRide.
Before I go on, let me make clear that I don't make a habit of assuming that anything out of the ordinary naturally suggests the presence or proximity of interplanetary life. I am not predisposed to blaming or crediting extraterrestrials for phenomena that I encounter here on our little planet.
So when I - or anyone else here on the ZBR staff - do say that aliens* are involved, Riders (of earthly descent) should take heed.
Evidence that we are not alone* has been provided to me right here on this very blog. Our neighbors have begun commenting, focusing their attention on this post from April of this year.
If you read through the comments (which pretty much all come in the middle of the night, ZiggyBackRide time - VERY different time zone, anyone???) you'll see that they are in the very beginning stages of learning to communicate as we do. There are very few recognizeable words peppered throughout the many comments. These include, but are not limited to:
"sex"
"poodle"
"top"
"free sex"
and, most interestingly,
"haman"
Why did this post speak to our brothers-from-another-species-of-mother? I can only assume that it is because of the discussion therein about the function and importance of the sun, which we obviously share with other planets. Why are our very distant neighbors so interested in connecting with Earthly ZiggyBackRiders? Clearly, they think Earth is the place to find sex. Maybe even free sex. How poodles and haman** fit into all of this, I don't know. And as an animal lover and Purim-enthusiast, I don't think I really care to know!
There is much more investigation to be done. For now, we know that this site has broken barriers that have long divided this universe of ours. We must proceed cautionsly, so as not to incite a negative interplanetary event. But we must be proud of the connection we have made with our neighbors and hopeful for a future that brings us all together to discuss important topics of the day like those explored in the referenced post. Welcome to the Ride. Welcome to Earth!
* Finally the question explored in one my all-time favorite ZBR posts has been answered, and the distances in actual space have been drastically reduced in cyber-space!
**Haman is the villain in the story of Purim, recounted in the Book of Esther.
Before I go on, let me make clear that I don't make a habit of assuming that anything out of the ordinary naturally suggests the presence or proximity of interplanetary life. I am not predisposed to blaming or crediting extraterrestrials for phenomena that I encounter here on our little planet.
So when I - or anyone else here on the ZBR staff - do say that aliens* are involved, Riders (of earthly descent) should take heed.
Evidence that we are not alone* has been provided to me right here on this very blog. Our neighbors have begun commenting, focusing their attention on this post from April of this year.
If you read through the comments (which pretty much all come in the middle of the night, ZiggyBackRide time - VERY different time zone, anyone???) you'll see that they are in the very beginning stages of learning to communicate as we do. There are very few recognizeable words peppered throughout the many comments. These include, but are not limited to:
"sex"
"poodle"
"top"
"free sex"
and, most interestingly,
"haman"
Why did this post speak to our brothers-from-another-species-of-mother? I can only assume that it is because of the discussion therein about the function and importance of the sun, which we obviously share with other planets. Why are our very distant neighbors so interested in connecting with Earthly ZiggyBackRiders? Clearly, they think Earth is the place to find sex. Maybe even free sex. How poodles and haman** fit into all of this, I don't know. And as an animal lover and Purim-enthusiast, I don't think I really care to know!
There is much more investigation to be done. For now, we know that this site has broken barriers that have long divided this universe of ours. We must proceed cautionsly, so as not to incite a negative interplanetary event. But we must be proud of the connection we have made with our neighbors and hopeful for a future that brings us all together to discuss important topics of the day like those explored in the referenced post. Welcome to the Ride. Welcome to Earth!
* Finally the question explored in one my all-time favorite ZBR posts has been answered, and the distances in actual space have been drastically reduced in cyber-space!
**Haman is the villain in the story of Purim, recounted in the Book of Esther.
Friday, October 16, 2009
My Annual Texas/OU Post
It is right about this time every year that I write about the Texas/Oklahoma football game. Sometimes I write on the morning of the contest as I watch College Gameday. Usually, I chronicle, in some way, the orange-colored food and drink which I have ingested or will ingest as the day wears on. You know all that now. And I'm proud of you.
This year, I'll be watching the game in a different setting. The Texas Exes (alumni club) of Memphis and our OU Alumni counterparts will be watching together! We will turn a BBQ restaurant in Memphis into our own smaller, remote version of the Cotton Bowl. All that's missing will be Big Tex, Fletcher's Corny Dogs, and the ferris wheel. Oh, and the players, coaches, bands, cheerleaders, field, officials, and 60,000 of our closest friends.
To gather and enjoy the game together, fans of both teams will have to be nicer than our feelings toward the other team warrant. So I have to get some of my anti-OU venom out now and I shall do so by sharing the following photo, shared today on Facebook by a friend. Enjoy, and please send me a copy if you choose to create your own variation on the "It's _____ am/pm and OU still sucks" joke. They never get old!
This year, I'll be watching the game in a different setting. The Texas Exes (alumni club) of Memphis and our OU Alumni counterparts will be watching together! We will turn a BBQ restaurant in Memphis into our own smaller, remote version of the Cotton Bowl. All that's missing will be Big Tex, Fletcher's Corny Dogs, and the ferris wheel. Oh, and the players, coaches, bands, cheerleaders, field, officials, and 60,000 of our closest friends.
To gather and enjoy the game together, fans of both teams will have to be nicer than our feelings toward the other team warrant. So I have to get some of my anti-OU venom out now and I shall do so by sharing the following photo, shared today on Facebook by a friend. Enjoy, and please send me a copy if you choose to create your own variation on the "It's _____ am/pm and OU still sucks" joke. They never get old!
Friday, October 09, 2009
Live From Oslo
Holy crap, have I missed you. Posting a quick status update on Facebook so often makes it feel unneccessary to log in here and get back on the Ride, but there's really nothing like a good blog post to get you going, is there?
It was announced today that President Obama will receive the Nobel Peace Prize this year and reviews of the selection are mixed. I support The President and I'm proud of the recognition, but I think it's probably a little early. He is in a position to do great things for the world's peace-making efforts, but hasn't had much chance to make an impact yet. The fact that he's being given the award now and the reaction the announcement is receiving say a few things to me:
1) Things were not good. Just the hope of a different kind of leadership for the world's most powerful country is worthy of the Nobel Prize. It is a nice reminder of the extent to which our nation is seen as a beacon of hope for those who dream of peace.
2) It occurs to me that they should maybe have given the prize to American voters who elected Obama. If his presence in the Oval Office moves peace forward so significantly, then those who put him there should get the prize. Hmmm. I might feel slighted.
3) People are really not able to put party politics aside. Republicans are mad that he won.* Actually angry. Can we not all agree that it's a good thing for the American president to be seen a leader in the world's efforts toward peace? I understand that it may seem like the guy you didn't want to win is now being celebrated before he accomplishes anything, but if you want to be partisan about it, then take some credit for just how bad your guy must have been before him!
4) If President Obama is a weak choice for such a momentous honor, assume it's because it has been a slow year in peace-making, get off your ass, and get to work. At best, you'll win it next year, at worst, you'll move us all a little closer to the peaceful world of which we all dream.**
* Probably not all Republicans. But a few of my friends were quick to jump on it and I've seen a lot of other chatter on line. Don't mean to generalize too greatly.
** "we all" being non-psychotic people who aren't terrorists
It was announced today that President Obama will receive the Nobel Peace Prize this year and reviews of the selection are mixed. I support The President and I'm proud of the recognition, but I think it's probably a little early. He is in a position to do great things for the world's peace-making efforts, but hasn't had much chance to make an impact yet. The fact that he's being given the award now and the reaction the announcement is receiving say a few things to me:
1) Things were not good. Just the hope of a different kind of leadership for the world's most powerful country is worthy of the Nobel Prize. It is a nice reminder of the extent to which our nation is seen as a beacon of hope for those who dream of peace.
2) It occurs to me that they should maybe have given the prize to American voters who elected Obama. If his presence in the Oval Office moves peace forward so significantly, then those who put him there should get the prize. Hmmm. I might feel slighted.
3) People are really not able to put party politics aside. Republicans are mad that he won.* Actually angry. Can we not all agree that it's a good thing for the American president to be seen a leader in the world's efforts toward peace? I understand that it may seem like the guy you didn't want to win is now being celebrated before he accomplishes anything, but if you want to be partisan about it, then take some credit for just how bad your guy must have been before him!
4) If President Obama is a weak choice for such a momentous honor, assume it's because it has been a slow year in peace-making, get off your ass, and get to work. At best, you'll win it next year, at worst, you'll move us all a little closer to the peaceful world of which we all dream.**
* Probably not all Republicans. But a few of my friends were quick to jump on it and I've seen a lot of other chatter on line. Don't mean to generalize too greatly.
** "we all" being non-psychotic people who aren't terrorists
Saturday, June 20, 2009
And You Thought Real Estate Was Boring!
It's Saturday afternoon and I just left an adult book store.
The business is located in a building that my real estate company manages. I was there to show a neighboring vacancy to a prospective tenant. When he had not yet arrived* several minutes after our appointed meeting time, I went into the store, introduced myself, and asked whether anyone had stopped in looking for me.
Without missing a beat and with the faintest hint of a smile on her lips (and a somewhat less faint grin in her eyes), the clerk assured me that everyone who had been there today had only been looking for one thing.
I think I need to spend more time with the employees of such establishments. That brief moment told me that these are people with senses of humor and that, from them, there is comedy to be had.
*He never arrived. It's cool, though. I had been hoping to spend part of my day off hanging out in a sweltering hot, vacant bar/grill, so really, I should be thanking him. So should anyone else who ever wants to meet with me on a weekend and has trouble convincing me to accept the appointment.
_
The business is located in a building that my real estate company manages. I was there to show a neighboring vacancy to a prospective tenant. When he had not yet arrived* several minutes after our appointed meeting time, I went into the store, introduced myself, and asked whether anyone had stopped in looking for me.
Without missing a beat and with the faintest hint of a smile on her lips (and a somewhat less faint grin in her eyes), the clerk assured me that everyone who had been there today had only been looking for one thing.
I think I need to spend more time with the employees of such establishments. That brief moment told me that these are people with senses of humor and that, from them, there is comedy to be had.
*He never arrived. It's cool, though. I had been hoping to spend part of my day off hanging out in a sweltering hot, vacant bar/grill, so really, I should be thanking him. So should anyone else who ever wants to meet with me on a weekend and has trouble convincing me to accept the appointment.
_
Friday, May 15, 2009
I Could Be A World Champion
In about 36 hours, maybe a little less, we'll know (well, I'll know and then I'll probably share it here in about a month 'cause that seems to be what I do, at the moment) if I am a World Champion!
"For what championship is Michael competing?" you may wonder. "Is he competing against other regional Funniest Jew winners?" "Is there a world's laziest man competition?" "Worst housekeeper in the world?"
No, no, and no to those last three. But if you know of any of those competitions, please let me know. I've been practicing for all of them.
I am a member of Born in the Que-S-A, a team competing in the Memphis in May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest, an incredibly smoky and fun festival on the banks of the Mississippi River in downtown Memphis. It started a couple of days ago and judging is tomorrow.
I don't really know how they judge and rank 200 or so different ribs, but hopefully they'll rank us first! I'll keep you posted. If we win, I assume the Memphis community will be throwing us a ticker-tape parade. Maybe we'll be invited to the White House. Who knows?!?
Now, please enjoy the story, told through facebook status updates, of my drive home from the first night of the contest. It is a little reminiscent of unexpected, undesired, unenjoyable late night car adventures of the past:
Michael Danziger Is stuck in traffic. You'd think that'd be some kind of metaphor at 11:30 at night, but it's not.Wed 11:33pm · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger May very well spend the night on I-240.Wed 11:54pm · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Is glad he used the port-o-potty before leaving bbq fest. Interstate wait: one hour and counting.Yesterday at 12:13am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Has gone 1/10 of a mile in the last 80 minutes...in a car.Yesterday at 12:38am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Will get home early next Wednesday morning, at this rate, but they'll probably clear the road sooner.Yesterday at 12:45am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Sees a police car ahead moving! Does this mean I might also move soon?Yesterday at 1:06am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Is about to move! .3 miles in 2 hours!Yesterday at 1:12am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Is home. 2 1/2 hours after leaving downtown. It would have been faster to go the other direction to Little Rock!Yesterday at 1:39am · Comment · LikeUnlike
"For what championship is Michael competing?" you may wonder. "Is he competing against other regional Funniest Jew winners?" "Is there a world's laziest man competition?" "Worst housekeeper in the world?"
No, no, and no to those last three. But if you know of any of those competitions, please let me know. I've been practicing for all of them.
I am a member of Born in the Que-S-A, a team competing in the Memphis in May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest, an incredibly smoky and fun festival on the banks of the Mississippi River in downtown Memphis. It started a couple of days ago and judging is tomorrow.
I don't really know how they judge and rank 200 or so different ribs, but hopefully they'll rank us first! I'll keep you posted. If we win, I assume the Memphis community will be throwing us a ticker-tape parade. Maybe we'll be invited to the White House. Who knows?!?
Now, please enjoy the story, told through facebook status updates, of my drive home from the first night of the contest. It is a little reminiscent of unexpected, undesired, unenjoyable late night car adventures of the past:
Michael Danziger Is stuck in traffic. You'd think that'd be some kind of metaphor at 11:30 at night, but it's not.Wed 11:33pm · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger May very well spend the night on I-240.Wed 11:54pm · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Is glad he used the port-o-potty before leaving bbq fest. Interstate wait: one hour and counting.Yesterday at 12:13am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Has gone 1/10 of a mile in the last 80 minutes...in a car.Yesterday at 12:38am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Will get home early next Wednesday morning, at this rate, but they'll probably clear the road sooner.Yesterday at 12:45am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Sees a police car ahead moving! Does this mean I might also move soon?Yesterday at 1:06am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Is about to move! .3 miles in 2 hours!Yesterday at 1:12am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Michael Danziger Is home. 2 1/2 hours after leaving downtown. It would have been faster to go the other direction to Little Rock!Yesterday at 1:39am · Comment · LikeUnlike
Monday, April 06, 2009
Asinine Ads or Cockamamy Commercials (You Choose)
Very, very early in the life of ZiggyBackRide, the staff here wrote about television advertisements that had us wondering for one reason or another. Now, a few years later*, a new crop of positively puzzling pitches has emerged.
1) Jergens Natural Glow - The voiceover in the commercial for this bronzing body cream asks the question, "With Jergens, who needs the sun?" Perhaps the fine folks over at Jergens are under the impression that the sun is merely nature's outdated tanning lamp and, if they are religious folks, proof of God's insistence that each of us must maintain a natural glow. As important as that glow is**, unless Jergens' exciting new product can prevent the instantaneous freezing of our planet and the resulting end of all life thereupon, I'm gonna stand by the idea that all of us still need the sun.
2) Hallmark Recordable Cards - Hallmark is advertising greeting cards that allow you to record a message. The commercial shows a family sitting around the table as the guest of honor opens a card from someone who couldn't make it. They are all quite moved as the voice of the card's sender lets the receiver know how special the receiver is and how badly the sender wishes she could be there. The Voiceover boils it all down for us, saying, that now we can "give the gift of voice." My question is this: Where are Hallmark's offices located that the people who work there have never heard of the telephone. The rest of us have been using it for decades to "give the gift of voice." The Hallmarkers really need to get out more!
* There have been plenty of other asinine ads/cockamamy commercials since the early posts, but our staff has been occupied with higher priorities.
** It is not important at all. In fact, glowing can generally be considered dangerous.
1) Jergens Natural Glow - The voiceover in the commercial for this bronzing body cream asks the question, "With Jergens, who needs the sun?" Perhaps the fine folks over at Jergens are under the impression that the sun is merely nature's outdated tanning lamp and, if they are religious folks, proof of God's insistence that each of us must maintain a natural glow. As important as that glow is**, unless Jergens' exciting new product can prevent the instantaneous freezing of our planet and the resulting end of all life thereupon, I'm gonna stand by the idea that all of us still need the sun.
2) Hallmark Recordable Cards - Hallmark is advertising greeting cards that allow you to record a message. The commercial shows a family sitting around the table as the guest of honor opens a card from someone who couldn't make it. They are all quite moved as the voice of the card's sender lets the receiver know how special the receiver is and how badly the sender wishes she could be there. The Voiceover boils it all down for us, saying, that now we can "give the gift of voice." My question is this: Where are Hallmark's offices located that the people who work there have never heard of the telephone. The rest of us have been using it for decades to "give the gift of voice." The Hallmarkers really need to get out more!
* There have been plenty of other asinine ads/cockamamy commercials since the early posts, but our staff has been occupied with higher priorities.
** It is not important at all. In fact, glowing can generally be considered dangerous.
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