Oh, What Could Have Been!

Yesterday, a stock I own went up almost 18%. 18% in one day! That's unbelievable. When you look and see that that has happened, you begin to think about what could have been. I did decide to buy a little of the stock at one time. What if I had decided to buy more two days ago? What if I had put everything I own into it? Even better, what if I owned a lot more than I do and had put everything I own into it? Boy, that would have been something! One day, baby! One day.

For now, I'm just enjoying knowing that I'm nigh on $50 wealthier than I was before the great TiVO boom of 2005. I'm sure that'll serve me well when I begin my temporary retirement in a few weeks.

In other news, I took a picture of my dinner the other night.

That's right. A picture. Of my dinner. I kid you not. I made stir-fry vegetables and fruit and garnished my plate with fresh fruit. As I was preparing it, I was struck by what a beautiful, colorful, healthy looking dish I had created. About that same time, I noticed my digital camera sitting on the counter within arm's reach. I recorded that glorious culinary moment for posterity. If I remember, I'll try and post the picture on this site for you to see. I believe that if I can do that and you can look at it, we will have achieved an all-time low for the internet (that's saying something!), and by Jove, we'll have done it together!

I don't get out much.

In Memoriam

I must, once again, apologize for my lack of recent posts. I know I can't keep asking you to give me another chance, hurt you again, and expect you to remain mine. But you must know how much I love you. And I'm trying. I really am! You'll see.

That was today's shameless apology/exuse for not writing more often, and it was brought to you by the Pyramid, "Memphis' home for... umm... Memphis'... umm... pointiest building!"

The message of today's post is of a more serious nature than usual. This post is in memory of Paddy Kelly, owner and proprietor of Paddy's Memphis Pub, who died recently of a sudden heart attack (as I understand it). Paddy's is where I got my start as a stand-up comedian. No matter how far (or short) my funny thoughts might take me, no matter what twists and turns my comedic journey may take, it will always have started with Paddy. I will always be indebted to him for his willingness to say, "Yes! Do stand-up comedy at my bar," when no one else was saying it. I will always be indebted, too, for his 2-for-1 drink specials that loosened up my earliest audiences. I didn't know him well, but I'll always be indebted to him for opening the door for me and holding it open - patiently and gentlemanly - as I shuffled shyly through.

A comedy tribute to Paddy, which will raise money to be used charitably in his memory, is in the works. I'll keep you posted.

Have a wonderful day!

Alternative Sources

Hello there! My apologies for the way-too-large amount of time since my last post. I hope you haven't had to turn to alternative sources of entertainment to curb your craving for the ride.

Speaking of alternative sources, I think it's really time for us to stop talking and start working to find new energy. Gas prices are high and oil producing countries are unstable/unfriendly; we are far too dependent. What I'm wondering is why the people that have found so many sources of cooking oil can't help us find other places from which to get oils for fuel.

What am I talking about? Okay, I'll tell you.

They are able to find oil that can be used for cooking absolutely anywhere. Think about it. Vegetable oil? What is vegetable oil? When was the last time you bit into a carrot and hit an oily patch?

Corn oil? Same thing. And, to be honest, I don't even know what canola is.

How do they find this stuff? I guess companies just buy up tons and tons of vegetables and drill into them with tiny drills, hoping for a lucky strike. Pick the right stalk of broccoli or head of lettuce and... EUREKA! You've hit the mother load.

This all must have taken a great deal of creativity at some point back in the day. Let's fire the brains back up (using solar power, of course) and leave the Saudis to themselves.

Can somebody please tell me, what is a canola?