Oh, What Could Have Been!

Yesterday, a stock I own went up almost 18%. 18% in one day! That's unbelievable. When you look and see that that has happened, you begin to think about what could have been. I did decide to buy a little of the stock at one time. What if I had decided to buy more two days ago? What if I had put everything I own into it? Even better, what if I owned a lot more than I do and had put everything I own into it? Boy, that would have been something! One day, baby! One day.

For now, I'm just enjoying knowing that I'm nigh on $50 wealthier than I was before the great TiVO boom of 2005. I'm sure that'll serve me well when I begin my temporary retirement in a few weeks.

In other news, I took a picture of my dinner the other night.

That's right. A picture. Of my dinner. I kid you not. I made stir-fry vegetables and fruit and garnished my plate with fresh fruit. As I was preparing it, I was struck by what a beautiful, colorful, healthy looking dish I had created. About that same time, I noticed my digital camera sitting on the counter within arm's reach. I recorded that glorious culinary moment for posterity. If I remember, I'll try and post the picture on this site for you to see. I believe that if I can do that and you can look at it, we will have achieved an all-time low for the internet (that's saying something!), and by Jove, we'll have done it together!

I don't get out much.

In Memoriam

I must, once again, apologize for my lack of recent posts. I know I can't keep asking you to give me another chance, hurt you again, and expect you to remain mine. But you must know how much I love you. And I'm trying. I really am! You'll see.

That was today's shameless apology/exuse for not writing more often, and it was brought to you by the Pyramid, "Memphis' home for... umm... Memphis'... umm... pointiest building!"

The message of today's post is of a more serious nature than usual. This post is in memory of Paddy Kelly, owner and proprietor of Paddy's Memphis Pub, who died recently of a sudden heart attack (as I understand it). Paddy's is where I got my start as a stand-up comedian. No matter how far (or short) my funny thoughts might take me, no matter what twists and turns my comedic journey may take, it will always have started with Paddy. I will always be indebted to him for his willingness to say, "Yes! Do stand-up comedy at my bar," when no one else was saying it. I will always be indebted, too, for his 2-for-1 drink specials that loosened up my earliest audiences. I didn't know him well, but I'll always be indebted to him for opening the door for me and holding it open - patiently and gentlemanly - as I shuffled shyly through.

A comedy tribute to Paddy, which will raise money to be used charitably in his memory, is in the works. I'll keep you posted.

Have a wonderful day!

Alternative Sources

Hello there! My apologies for the way-too-large amount of time since my last post. I hope you haven't had to turn to alternative sources of entertainment to curb your craving for the ride.

Speaking of alternative sources, I think it's really time for us to stop talking and start working to find new energy. Gas prices are high and oil producing countries are unstable/unfriendly; we are far too dependent. What I'm wondering is why the people that have found so many sources of cooking oil can't help us find other places from which to get oils for fuel.

What am I talking about? Okay, I'll tell you.

They are able to find oil that can be used for cooking absolutely anywhere. Think about it. Vegetable oil? What is vegetable oil? When was the last time you bit into a carrot and hit an oily patch?

Corn oil? Same thing. And, to be honest, I don't even know what canola is.

How do they find this stuff? I guess companies just buy up tons and tons of vegetables and drill into them with tiny drills, hoping for a lucky strike. Pick the right stalk of broccoli or head of lettuce and... EUREKA! You've hit the mother load.

This all must have taken a great deal of creativity at some point back in the day. Let's fire the brains back up (using solar power, of course) and leave the Saudis to themselves.

Can somebody please tell me, what is a canola?

Milestones and Pontiffs

Congratulations! You did it. You helped this site reach the 1000 visitor mark. Special recognition goes to my friend Rachel who was the lucky visitor. I owe her a drink. Or so she tells me.

All I can say is keep visiting. If you do, I'll keep writing. Sometimes I'll even write things that are interesting. You'll see!

In other news, we have a new Pope. As I'm quite certain you already know, Pope John Paul II passed away recently. The College of Cardinals (Such a party school! I almost went there, but decided on UT Austin at the last second. Little known fact!) has elected his successor. Benedict the XVI is the man. I would have thought that John Paul III would have been the natural choice (I understand he's very upset.), but I guess that just shows how much I have to learn about this stuff.

Have a great day!

Four Digits, Travel, and a Big Mistake

Hi there! Well, we're almost there. Almost, that is, to the big 1-0-0-0 on the visitor counter. It's exciting to be nearing four-digit territory, even if the number has climbed painfully slowly since its humble beginnings in the single digits. Sure, most of the visits have been me, but not all of them, and that's what we should focus on as we near this milestone. Best of luck to all at being the 1000th. If you find that you are (you'll know because the counter will say 1000) post a comment to the latest post letting me know. You'll be eligible for many fabulous prizes.

Alright, settle down now. There's more here to enjoy than just exciting play-by-play coverage of this site's visitor count. I was on the road this weekend on a sort of ziggybackride history tour.

I left my hometown of Memphis, TN, where I grew up and live currently, on Friday and spent some time that afternoon in Jackson, MS, visiting my old office, co-workers, and friends there. I proceeded out of "urban Mississippi" and into the suburbs of Utica, MS, where I spent the night at Henry S. Jacobs Camp, where I have spent some significant portion of over 20 summers of my life, plus some time in the winter months, too. There, I helped staff a weekend event for 6th-8th graders from around the region. I woke up early Saturday morning and flew out of Jackson (the Utica airport just ain't what it used to be) to Austin, TX, where I visited with friends from the camp and from my days in school at UT Austin. That night, I attended a celebration for a student affairs professional that is retiring after a long tenure shaping student life at The University. It was great to have the opportunity to show him my appreciation and to see many very close friends who were there to do the same and with whom I hope to keep in better contact from now on (and I'm not just saying that because they might be reading this!). That night, I slept in the apartment of some camp friends who are in school at UT. It sounds like it's funny that I, a mildly successful 29 year old professional would crash on the couch of a college apartment, but in truth, they keep it far cleaner than I keep my house, so it was rather luxurious! I woke up Sunday morning at 5:00 a.m. and caught a shuttle to the airport, flew back to Jackson, got in my car, caught up with a bus of kids returning to Memphis from the camp weekend and traveled with them back to Memphis.

It was rather an elegant little travel plan that emerged from a marriage of my desire to get to Austin and my laziness that kept from me from finding someone else to chaperone the camp bus. It was a fun weekend!

Finally, the big mistake. I started watching the movie "The Neverending Story" last week. I'm still watching it. This story never ends!!! Just kidding, of course, but I have always found it funny in the video store that there is a Neverending Story II. How could you possibly need a sequel if the first one never ends? And how would anyone ever get around to watching it?

Dream Job? Really?

I am looking for a job. Not very actively, but I am looking. I am leaving my current post in June and I don't know what I'll do next. I'm interested in a lot of different possibilities and feel I have a lot of opportunities, so I'm not worried, but the situation has raised my interest in jobs and how to get them.

Naturally, my attention was drawn to an ESPN show called Dream Job, as I am not only a job seeker, but a sports fan. This is the 2nd season of Dream Job. In the first, sportscaster wannabes vied for an opening on the Sportscenter anchor team. My friend Micah came damn close to becoming a finalist in that competition, as a matter of fact, but I digress (surprise, surprise!). This second season of the show has former NBA players competing for the chance to be an NBA commentator for the network. Here's where I become confused and - I'm not gonna lie to you - somewhat angry.

Former NBA players are competing for a "dream job?" Are you kidding me? These guys made millions of dollars playing basketball. I'm sure you understand, but I feel the need to explain further. Their job - their whole job - was to be basketball players. That would qualify as quite close to dream job status even if they were making minimum wage for it, but they weren't. No, they were paid millions of dollars to play the game I love, and now, NOW, they are competing for a dream job?

So my first problem with this is the idea that we should get excited because one of these guys might finally get something we might consider a dream job. The second is that it's not like they are just average joes who happen to think they make good comments during basketball games (like George Costanza) and think they might make a good sportscaster if ever given the chance. As Jerry told George, "Those jobs are usually reserved for people who are in broadcasting or former athletes." To which George responded, "Well... that doesn't seem fair."

George may be right, but Jerry certainly was. Since when do retired professional athletes need a leg up over average guys to have a chance at sportscasting jobs? If ESPN wants to give away dream jobs, open it up to guys who don't already have a really good chance to get that exact job and who haven't already had what everyone else in the world would consider a dream job. Then I'll watch.

Good day to you.

I said good day!

Long Time, No Ride/Write

Hello Ziggybackriders! Oh, how I've missed you. So much has happened since last we were together. Unfortunately, I can't write much now, but boy oh boy, when I can...

In the last few weeks, I've been to Washington, D.C., where I met with several Members of Congress and saw some of my favorite sites in this great nation of ours. I have plenty to tell you about that. I have also helped engineer my Temple's celebration of the Jewish holiday of Purim. For those unfamiliar, I will explain the holiday later, but just know that tax season is to an accountant as Purim is to a synagogue youth director. I'm pooped!

An exciting basketball season has continued for me as a player and as the coach of a high school girls' team, the Temple Israel Lady Rabs. They're not bad! It's fun! Speaking of basketball, I have seen less of the NCAA Basketball Tournament than ever before and that makes me sad, as it is my favorite of all sporting events. I will, however, be watching the NIT Semifinals tonight as my hometown Memphis Tigers take on St. Joe's in hopes of continuing what is now a nine-game NIT win streak and securing a berth in Thursday night's championship game.

Early tomorrow morning, I'm off to Houston, TX, which is a city I could mostly do without. Exceptions to that include that it is the hometown of much of my extended family and many of my college friends from UT Austin, and that tomorrow, it is where my father will be installed as president of all the rabbis of Reform Judaism, worldwide. A nice honor and a big responsibility. Glad I'll get to be there!

Okay, that's it for now. Just wanted you to know I'm still alive (which is saying something considering my next door neighbor was shot right outside my condo the other night while I slept. He, too, is alive and well, but I mean... you know... wow!).

See you soon!

The World According to Gum

The world moves so fast. It really does get difficult to keep up with things. The news, technology, diet and exercise crazes, new products - it's almost too much to handle. Sometimes, I think we definitely make it a little harder on ourselves than we need to. That theory was proven true when I went to buy gum the other day.

Even in the realm of chewing gum, the world is spinning out of control. Flavors used to be so simple - fruit, cinnamon, and mint. But we had to make the choice tougher than that. So the mints got divided into pepper and spear. Neither of those names makes sense to me, by the way, but we won't get bogged down in that. Eventually, it became apparent that those beloved old flavors just weren't enough to satisfy the sophisticated tastes of the world's gum chewers.

The big thing I've noticed recently is that all of the gum flavors are sounding colder and colder. I think the move to low-temperature flavored gum must have started with wintergreen. (Again, I don't even know what that flavor is. I like it, but what is it based on? Is that a fruit? A plant? Or did the folks at Life Savers and Wrigley's just get together and make it up?) After a while, I guess wintergreen began to seem stale, so, of course, here comes winter fresh!

But soon our mouths got accustomed to the freshness of winter and the chewing gum industry - always on their toes - responded to this potential crisis with a flurry of wintry cold brands and flavors - Arctic Blast. Polar Ice. Even Ice Breakers. I get cold just walking down the candy aisle now!

I don't know what's next - probably just frozen pieces of metal that we can get our tongues stuck to (like in "A Christmas Story." What a great movie!). I think that would keep our mouths cool. Or maybe they'll start selling little sticks of mint-flavored ice. Now, you'd think those would melt before they even got to you, but you'd be wrong. No, they wouldn't melt. Not with the high tech packaging they're putting gum in now. What's with those individual blister packs for pieces of gum. That's the same kind of packaging as medicine! That's how important chewing gum is in our society. We take care of it as though it has the power to heal. But I guess that in our hectic world, that's the sort of thing we have to do to ease our burden. This way, at least we know our chewing gum is safe. Frosty, therapeutic, and safe!